I've determined that I don't write much (here) when I am uninspired. I have been uninspired for some time. I have been busy but with what exactly, I'm not sure. The last time I felt truly inspired, a bomb dropped in my life the very next day. So, I am a little apprehensive about allowing myself to feel any growing inspiration. I am going through some significant changes. Exciting changes. Opportunity to stretch and grow is exciting yet unsettling at the same time. That is where I find myself today: stretching, growing, excited, and unsettled all at the same time. But change is good. I despise ruts and stagnation. I yearn for growth and progress and newness.
A few areas of my life were stagnating. Health. Relationships. Job. Those are a few that come to mind. Each of those areas are taking big turns. It's interesting how God will sometimes allow us to remain right where we are and wait for us to take a step in a new/different direction. Yet in other things He brings new challenges right smack in front of our faces even when we insist on staying the same. I am up for some change. I am a change junkie. Not just change for the sake of change. But change for the sake of GROWTH.
I am working HARD to reclaim great health! It is hard work. It doesn't always taste like fried chicken, biscuits, and gravy. There is strain, sweat, sacrifice. But there is also energy, vibrance, self esteem, better fitting clothes etc... For everything worth having there is hard work and sacrifice. Not just in physical health, but it is sometimes most obvious there. I am loving this new change and what it is bringing into my life. It's about time!!
I am being stretched by being handed a HUGE new responsibility. It's BIG. It's one of those things that makes you wonder if "they" knew what they were doing in giving it to you. It's HUGE, but also is one of the reasons I know I am where I am for a reason. It's one of those "THIS is what I was waiting for" things. Yet, so much responsibility goes with this role. It's not that this "thing" is rocket science, it is just that it is CRITICAL and must be as close to perfection as we can get this side of heaven. No pressure. Ha ha! Again...excited and unsettled. Mostly, prayerful.
I am growing by learning to determine what isn't acceptable in my life (which I base on God's Word and wise counsel.) I sometimes allow myself to be run over, taken advantage of, etc... I thought that is what I was supposed to do. You know, love, accept, forgive, be gracious? Sounds good and right, but not to the point of being taken advantage of. Friends sometimes do this. Family can do this. Coworkers can do this. All of the people in our lives can do this if we consistently allow it. I have allowed it with many people in my life. So, I changed it. We teach other people how to treat us. People will treat you exactly how you allow them. I've been a doormat. I'm standing up not only for myself but for how I know my God wants me to be treated and how I need to treat others. Being a kind, loving, gracious person does not equal: doormat! I love being His daughter and knowing how to love others, but how to not subject myself to harmful treatment as well. It's freeing!
Have I rambled enough? Growth, stretching, learning, being open to God's will and His lessons is a wonderful thing. I love change. I am change. I am ever-changing. God does not change but He is always a catalyst in my daily change. Awesome to experience. Definitely uncomfortable at times, but always worth it. Always.
