Precious Gems

I have a friend. I haven't known this person a long period of time. Less than two years, I'd say. But lately, I have been getting to know them better. This friend challenges me. This friend supports me. This friend doesn't always politely agree with me, but broadens my thinking. This friend encourages me in my endeavors. This friend is beyond unique. This friend is Godly. And therefore I strive to know this person better and better!

The pastor at my church was talking this week about evaluating the friends in our lives. I have been doing a lot of that over the past few years, and even more so over the past few months. You see, life is short! And the value and blessing of friendship is priceless. But we have to be honest with ourselves and use discernment concerning those whom we choose to "run" with. Our friends are often times a reflection of ourselves. And I am learning to not only choose my friends more wisely than I ever have in my life, and I am also learning how to release ones that are harmful to my soul. Tough lesson to learn and even tougher to put into action, but wise nonetheless.

One of the number one requirements I have for those I choose to draw closest to these days is DEPTH! That's a popular term around my house. We use it a lot. It says a lot about a person. I want to surround myself with people of great depth. There is a massive crowd of people who are "as shallow as spit". Everything in their world is surface and hollow and depthless. They do not challenge those around them. They are close-minded to change and improvement. They live on celebrity gossip and the latest fashions. I want the crowd that I "run with" to be deep. People who care about others. People who strive to know God more closely each and every day. People who spread joy and hope to a lost world. People are always seeking to grow and change and improve. People who love...their God, each other, lost souls, and reach out to them all.

Take a look at your crowd. Who is in it? Let me challenge you to draw joyful, positive, alive, challenging, spiritual people of great depth closest to you. It will change your life. You will then be better equipped to touch more and more lives in a more positive and meaningful way. If your circle of friends refuels you, if they cause you to grow closer to God, if they propel you forward, you can then be of greater use to the rest of the world. Don't take these words to mean that you close the rest of the world out. NO!!! We are called to reach out to them, to everyone. But you need your closest friends to be DEEP and thus, probably few. Jesus had VERY VERY few He was truly close to. Check it out. He reached out to ALL, but only drew a couple very close.

Make some time to reflect on your friendships. Thank God for those who continuously bring joy, love, depth, and growth into your life. Always be looking for more of these people to know, to learn from, to engage. Friendship is a powerful and mighty asset in your Christian walk. I thank my God every day for the amazing friends He has brought into my life. I am a better Christian woman each day because of their depth and their Godly spirits. Thank God for the people like that in your life. If you don't have any, pray for them, seek them out, beg God to open your eyes and your heart to those with whom He wants you to connect. Like I am doing with the friend I mentioned at the beginning... be proactive, be purposeful, have intent to get to know those people better, to learn from them, and to draw them near. When I run across an extremely rare and precious gem like the friend I mentioned, I see it for the miraculous blessing that it is, and embrace it. I pray you will too.

The Source of All Peace

Everyday is a new and amazing set of challenges and blessings. My life is not perfect...FAR from it. It is not struggle-free, not even close! It is not some euphoric wonderland. But, it is also not a gray and gloomy place. It has its ups and its downs. And from them, I learn and grow and change DAILY. And I love that! I always want to be growing...the other choice is stagnation... have you've ever seen stagnant water...HELLO???...It is GROSS! I don't want that for my life...no way!

The two things I was struggling with, that I wrote about in my previous post have been dealt with. Praise God! Neither situation was "easy" or pleasant, to be quite honest. However, I am better off for having faced those challenges head-on. I learned more about myself than I imagined that I would. I have also learned a lot about allowing God, through the Holy Spirit, to guide me, my words, and my actions. Don't get me wrong, I did not handle either situation perfectly. I was open to His Spirit and I spoke from my heart with love and I know that's what He required of me.

So yet again, I find myself rejoicing--rejoicing in my trials. Rejoicing because I followed God's nudges and that gives me more peace than I ever imagined. I want to make something clear so that I don't misrepresent reality: Neither situation/conversation ended up with a fairy tale ending. In fact one of them was quite a fiasco at the time. God does not promise us that there will not be trials, unpleasant discussions, hardened hearts, and the like. We are living in a fallen world. So even when we do the right things, the Godly things, the difficult things, it may not be all sunshine and rainbows at the time. But if we allow ourselves to follow His call, move forward when He nudges, and obey Him, GOOD will follow. Peace will prevail in our lives. It is happening for me. I let Him carry me through the thorns and briars, and I made it through another challenge--stronger, wiser, and more joyful! I don't know how either situation will end up, I just know that I did what I know God wanted and what was right and biblical. I can trust that "God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28).

Peace follows doing God's will and and it follows speaking the truth in love. PEACE follows, it does! I struggled and stumbled through it, but God held me close through all of it. I know He will cause everything to work together for my good and the good of those involved who love Him too! Knowing that takes off ALL the pressure. God's love is strong and He can carry us through the muck and mire.

No matter what you're dealing with, no matter how big or small, God can and will carry you through it, He can and will cause the Holy Spirit to work inside of you to do and say the things that you must in order to get through it. Don't try it by yourself, it will end up wrecked! Walk with Him, follow His calling, His Word, and His gentle nudges. Peace and joy will prevail!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Mirror, mirror on the wall, don't like what I see it all!

There are a couple of situations in my life that are causing me a great deal of anxiety. Why? They shouldn't be. They can only do that if I allow them to. And here's what's funny---if I knew someone else as conflicted and anxious about these things, I'd be incredibly frustrated that they were allowing such nonsense in their lives. I'd make sure to tell them that too! So, why haven't I handled my two circumstances in the same way I would want someone else to that I care about? Hmmm, I could go with an old, yet well-used excuse, "We'll, this is DIFFERENT!" WRONG...it's not different!

It's hard to like what you see in the mirror when you know the person looking back at you has allowed Satan steal their joy. And that is SO the case with ME right now. You see, these situations currently infesting my life with inner conflict, only exist in my world because I am allowing them to be there. In these instances, I didn't even have to DO anything to allow them access into my life. All I had to do was: NOTHING. By doing NOTHING, by sticking my head in the sand REPEATEDLY, by using the technique of avoidance, I have allowed my joy to be ripped away from me! Can I blame others? Sure...I could. But it would be a whopper of a lie. I have NO ONE but myself to blame.

Always talking about "stepping up, taking action, NOT sitting back and watching", and the list goes on and on and on---that's ME! Well, in these two ugly situations, I didn't listen to my own incredibly wise insight. Arggggh! I hate it when I do that. (I bet you hate it when you do that too.) BUT--(Behold, the Underlying Truth) the good news is...I have been convicted. The Holy Spirit never lets me go too long before He puts that mirror in front of my face, and what is reflected back is ghastly. Thank you God for the gift of the Holy Spirit and that you've helped me to soften my heart enough to humbly look into that mirror and be willing to change the person looking back at me.

I have remained silent long enough. I have stood back and allowed my joy to be snatched from me while I watched. I have stuck my head in the sand for the last time. I have veiled my "inaction" under the guise of "trying to be NICE" and "not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings", and on and on. I have denied what I know to be true and right under those false pretenses. WHOA! That's scary. How easily the enemy convinced me that being quiet, gentle, and "nice" might be better than dealing with REALITY through truth and love. So what did I do??? I did NOTHING. I watched two situations deteriorate in front of my very eyes. I listened to the the enemy, and in an effort to keep from ruffling feathers, in an effort to be "nice", in an effort to keep from hurting anyone's feelings etc...I used my legendary avoidance technique. "If I ignore this ugly situation, it will just magically go away." HOW SILLY! HOW NAIVE! HOW WRONG!

I am committed to dealing with these two uncomfortable, unpleasant, now unavoidable situations in my life. I am going to do it at the very first opportunity that I can. I am unexpectedly at peace about it too. I am excited because I know I am getting my JOY back. I am happy because I will be a stronger Christian woman for addressing these issues. I am happy because yet again, the Holy Spirit has tackled me---and I LOVE THAT! I count it such a blessing to see my life and my heart open to God and the Holy Spirit. It may not always be pleasant at first, but I can PROMISE you that every single time in my life that I have bowed in submission to His will, my life has FLOURISHED almost instantaneously! I can hardly sit still in my anticipation of what is to come. I trust my Lord to take care of me and bless me when I follow His direction. I am looking forward to my JOY being returned to me. In fact, I believe it's here already! (Sigh---of contentment and relief.)

So, I challenge you to look into your mirror too...not the one in your bathroom, but your spiritual mirror. Really look deeply at what you see. Is it beautiful? Or is it someone avoiding doing something they know they must? Someone refusing to forgive? Someone bound by things of this earth? Someone focused on money or money issues? Someone needing to step up and take action? Someone needing to let go of hurt and anger and release them to God? Whatever it is that you see...especially if you don't like it, PLEASE let me encourage you to DEAL with it is as soon as you possibly can. You may need to take some time to pray, to seek wise counsel, to study His Word...but do it. Do not put off the things that make your reflection ghastly like mine was. Tackle them before they suck you under! Tackle them before too much damage is done. Do it, go forward arm-in-arm with God. He will go with you and bless your socks off for having done what you know He calls you to do. Stop listening to the lies of the enemy, the fear in your heart, or your own selfish delusions. I encourage you to soften your heart, be uncomfortably honest with yourself, and look DEEPLY into that mirror. Act on what you see. He will be your guide if you let Him. Avoidance under any circumstance is cowardly. Remove it from your arsenal of coping techniques! Allow God to reveal to you the things that you are avoiding and let Him show you the path back to your JOY. It's much easier to look in to the mirror if you are not avoiding the things you most desperately need to address in your life--AND the reflection is much more beautiful. Trust me, get that weight of your shoulders, and you will find immediate relief. God may surprise you with the blessings He can then bestow upon you.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, in obedience I stand tall!

Does SIZE Really Matter?

I am taking a wonderful class at my church this month. It is a class for single adults, with some focus on dating and relationships... I am really enjoying it, more so than I thought I would. As I was telling a friend about it the other day, it almost crossed my mind to say that the class wasn’t presenting anything that I didn’t already know. But then I caught myself realizing that wasn’t true. It is a four-session class. I’ve been to two sessions so far. In those sessions, I’ve been pointed to scripture that has proven incredibly useful already in just the past week or so. Plus the concepts that we are covering, are things I already know but are being presented in ways I may not have considered before. So on the surface, this class may appear to be “standard singles content”, but it isn’t at all. And I am so glad I am taking the class.

One thing that we covered last week was the idea of being with someone who can accept rebuke (to admonish gently but earnestly). This topic was presented in a dating/relationship scenario, which is SO VERY important, but can be applied to all of those we “do life” with, I call those people my friends. In our class they quoted a few scriptures in Proverbs (my dear friend Proverbs), that I now have used many times this week. I love it when I find scriptures that immediately jump out at me and can be applied to my life right then and there.

Proverbs 27:5 says, “An open rebuke is better than hidden love.” I love that. However, so many times people choose to take the “easy” road and remain silent instead of openly rebuking someone in their life. It’s so hard to do because you may or may not know how the receiver will react to it. In the class, we were learning to look for those people who are accepting and appreciative of being called into accountability and Godliness. We should share our lives with those who can say, “You are right, I am in the wrong and I will make the necessary changes.” Those who are able to say they are sorry and say when they are wrong are the kind of people we should choose to date etc…But since I am not dating at the moment and don’t have to establish that right now in that venue, I chose to look at it from a standpoint of who I “do life” with. In that perspective it made me take a close look at my friends.

From one perspective, we should seek out those who we know will call us into accountability and rebuke us when we need it. Sometimes we surround ourselves with those people who simply keep their mouths shut and let us go on in error and in sinfulness without saying a word to us. It may “seem” easier that way. No one particularly LIKES being corrected or rebuked. I don’t. You don’t either. But it is SO needed. Not only is it needed, it is Biblical! So my suggestion is to draw closest to you, the people that you know will hold you to God’s standards of living. Cherish them, even when it hurts your pride or injures your feelings, for they are a true blessing. Those are the people who truly love you the MOST. They love you enough to do what’s hard and to say what’s difficult because of their love and care for you. INVALUABLE!

The other perspective is to keep “at arms length” those who will not be accepting of your own Biblical and Godly rebuke. This is not always easy to do as caring, concerned, loving Christian people. I know!!! However, discernment is also Biblical and I believe that people who are not able to accept rebuke and Godly and Biblical advice or correction are toxic--I know, because I have been one of them! Now, DO NOT get me wrong--I believe we are called to love these toxic people, care for these people, pray for these people and befriend them. BUT, and that is a big BUT, they must not be a part of those whom you draw nearest, and as my class was teaching, not someone you’d draw together with into a relationship (dating). Those with whom you choose to draw nearest need to be of the same heart, spirit, and mind as you. They need to be Christ followers in all ways, not in just what they say, BUT in what they DO. Those who follow Christ and obey God’s commands, are open to rebuke and will never turn their back on you for doing what is right. Those are our truest friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. Those are who we travel closest to through this journey.

I have had to make many tough decisions and cut my circle of friends into a VERY small selection, because of this standard, over the past few years/months. That’s ok with me. I am not mean because I don’t allow everyone close to my heart. I am not mean because I will rebuke those I love. I am not crazy because I ask others to call me into Godly and Biblical accountability. I don’t measure my value on the number of friends I have, but the Godly value they have in my walk and the Godly value I have in theirs. My circle of friends is very small. Size doesn't matter at all! I have many other “friends/acquaintances” in my world too. There are a myriad of reasons I have chosen such a small group to be truly CLOSE to---It could be for reasons of spiritual like-mindedness, could be just normal personality matches, it could be for Proverbs 27:5 reasons, it could be a multitude of reasons. There are many suggestions and guidelines found in scripture to help us know who to draw closest to in our lives. This doesn’t mean we have to shun, disown, or make enemies of the others, it just means we guard our hearts and lives closely and base our choices on scripture and seek out those striving to reflect the heart of Christ in their lives, words, and actions. The size of your circle doesn't matter, only that the ingredients are "non-toxic".

Proverbs, as I have mentioned before, is a treasure trove of Godly wisdom. Do more than read it--apply it.

Are YOU a Bench-Warmer?

Waiting. Waiting is not something we are too terribly fond of. We are not terribly good at it either. Yet, life is full of waiting periods.

Right now I am waiting. I bet you are too---praying and waiting. Struggling and waiting. Anguishing and waiting. Crying and waiting. Questioning and waiting. Anticipating and waiting. Watching and waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

There are so many different things I am waiting on. The hard part is understanding that I need to dive in and work alongside God to tackle my life together WITH Him. I think there are a lot of things in life that we have to partner with God regarding-all things are this way actually. This is in regards to our OWN lives. We can help others along the way but we cannot FIX others or partner their lives with God for them. They must live their own life and partner up with God too. We cannot do that for them, only for ourselves! And we must all do this. God is the perfect partner. He wants that. He wants to be our guide, our friend, our strength. We need to trust in Him and His ways. But we need to realize that He also calls us to action, not complacency or surrender to self-pity. No bench-warming.

We all have circumstances in which some waiting is required. We have to use wisdom and our God-given brains to know that life DOES require us to get off our rear ends and get in the game. So many times I see people sit back and wait. Sit back and give up. Sit back and complain. Sit back and stagnate. Sit back and feel sorry for themselves. This gets them no closer to their goals and the life God wants them to have, it actually gets them further away. It is counterproductive.

Understanding that God has His own timing is not a "free-ticket" to sitting out on life and waiting for God to bring us all we need, want, or desire on a silver platter. God does not work that way. God did not come after me when I went to the "far country". NO, He did not! He waited on me. God waited!! Wow, to think that there are those of us who want or need or desire SO MUCH and yet decide to sit back and wait....well, what if God is waiting on YOU??? What if nothing changes until YOU get up, get off the bench, and get in the game?

What if you are waiting on God to bring you a mate? What if you never put yourself out there? What if you remain in your comfort zone? What if you simply rot away all alone in your comfort zone? What if YOUR mate is attending a bible study that God nudged you to go to? What if he or she is volunteering at church and you haven't made the time or commitment to do so too? What if he or she is in the game, following God's nudges and living life amongst good, active, Christian people? What if God's trying to "hook you up" and you are sitting back and waiting? God is not going to walk up to your front door with the mate of your dreams posed prominently in the middle of that silver platter. HELLO? God works in mysterious ways, but not like that. We all know that --but---we live life in such a way that our mate would have to be delivered to us like that in order for us to be available to it. Mark my words, it won't happen like that. Wake up and partner up with God. Stop waiting for that doorbell.

What if your life is falling apart? What if you don't understand why you feel so alone and so abandoned? What if you don't understand why things get worse and worse instead of better and better? Could it possibly be because you are curled up in a ball feeling sorry for yourself? Could it be that you are waiting on someone else/everyone else to bail you out of your problems? What if you are waiting on God to do it for you? BUT--- What if God is waiting on YOU instead? Perhaps YOU are the one who needs to get in the game and clean up the messes in your life. He WILL help you but He won't do it FOR you while you sit back and watch. NOPE. You have to make the first move, take the first step, you have to TAKE ACTION. He will join in and turn things around WITH you. He WILL.

There are so many aspects of our lives that if we take a minute to think about can be bettered by taking action. GET OFF THE BENCH! Partner up with God to improve all of the situations you are WAITING ON. Don't try to do it all yourself--it won't work, but don't take the opposite stance and sit back and wait for the silver platter. Work with God, make concerted efforts to improve your life. He will guide you, assist you, and help you. HE WILL!!! He will not do it for you while you sit back and wait. You must be a participant. I need to grasp this as much as anyone. Even if we are waiting on God's timing we must be out there, in the game, involved, and taking action as He nudges us out of our complacency and comfort zones. He will work in our lives. He will bless us with the JOY we desire and long for--HE WILL! But He wants us in the game, out there living life, seeking Him in all that we do. Stop the "action-less" waiting. Stop stagnating and rotting in your lonely comfort zone. Step up! God is the coach, tell Him you've decided to get off the bench and that you want in the game! Get off the bench, step over the sideline. You cannot win if you aren't actually in the game!