The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dream for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day.
I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon,"Yes."
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed your children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

-Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Enjoy the Silence

Silence. Not something I hear very often. Often times, I crave it. Rarely do I hear it. But when I do...it does something to me. It stirs something. It awakens something that remains dormant in the noise of this life. Silence is golden. That's not just a movie theater tag line. Sometimes only in silence can I hear the still small voice. And perhaps that is why I so crave it. Yet, it is SO hard to come by. I live in a constant state of noise. A three year old. Television. Radio. Coworkers. Family. Friends. More television. More three year old. People yammering on and on about nothing of any real consequence. It goes on nearly 24/7.

I am making it a quest: Find a pocket of silence every single day. Just for Him to speak to me in moments where I can actually hear Him. Time where even my own inner noise is turned off and all I focus on is His voice. He wants to speak to me. He wants to be heard. He longs to commune with me. But I alone have the power to turn off the noise.

Please be prayerful for me to make this a priority. I need this very much. There is entirely too much noise in my life. Especially inner noise. I need the silence. I crave it. I must seek it out every day. If I don't...the constant static and noise will drown Him out when I need Him the most.

Quotable

Just some of my favorite quotes:

"I no doubt deserve my enemies, but I don't believe that I deserve any of my friends." Walt Whitman

"Wisdom is not wisdom when it is derived from books alone." Horace

"Rarely do great beauty and virtue dwell together. To find both intertwined is but the rarest of jewels." Francesco Petrach

"Almost all our faults are more easily pardoned than the methods we use to hide them." Francois De La Rochefoucauld

"It is strange that words are so inadequate. Yet, like the asthmatic struggles for breath, so the lover struggles for words." T.S. Eliot

"In her first passion, woman loves her lover, in all others following all she loves is love." Lord Byron

"Learn to self conquest. Persevere for a time and you will perceive very clearly the advantage which you gain from it." Mother Theresa

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; Kindness in your face; Kindness in your eyes; Kindness in your smile." Mother Theresa

"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each man's life enough sorrow and suffering to disarm our hostility." Longfellow

Revealing

I have been feeling disconnected. I'm not sure where that feeling is coming from. I have a lot of friends. However, I have very few CLOSE friends. I am quite guarded. One of the people I most respect at work is very guarded too. I have wondered if she is that way outside of work. Turns out, she is. She boldly shared her concern and her reasons. Like my reasons, she fears being misunderstood and so doesn't reveal much either. It has been weighing on her. Here's what helped both of us:

Did Jesus have lots of "friends"? Well, a few actually. Did He have lots of close friends? No, really only three. What happened when He truly revealed himself to them? Check out Matt. 17:1-14. That must have been simply amazing (even frightening), to see Jesus in His true form. Transformed from his earthly appearance to His true splendor right in front of their faces. He revealed Himself to His closest friends. They even heard the voice of God in heaven. They saw the REAL DEAL. It seemed that they "got it", it seemed they were OK, certainly amazed, but OK. Yet, later on they were the three in the garden with Him, and we know how things went from there. They didn't get it. Not really. If anyone on the planet could have "gotten it" it would have been them. THEY SAW HIM REVEAL HIMSELF, TRANSFIGURE HIMSELF. Yet, in the end, they really didn't get Him.

Jesus knows how you feel, He knows all that we struggle with. HE KNOWS. I realize that even Christ, when He finally revealed who He really was to His closest friends ...they still didn't really understand. He GETS how that feels. He experienced it too. So, when I am unable to find someone to understand me and "get me", I should turn to Him, because He's been there. He gets it and gets me. I shouldn't always seek for that one person who will "get me". He is sufficient.

This friend at work, that I so admire, also revealed that even her closest earthly relationship (her husband) doesn't always "get her". As she puts it, they are wired very differently, and often times the deepest issues of her inner spirit are not understood by him. He cares, but cannot fully understand. She seeks great comfort in knowing that Christ does understand. So when those in my life, even those closest to me, just don't seem to get me when I reveal myself to them, I know that I need not despair. I know they love me. I know they care. I know that desire to understand. And that will be enough. But I also know where to go from there...I go to Him. HE UNDERSTANDS ME, even when no one else can.

I find great comfort in that.

Does Anyone Understand Me?

Not being understood really stinks. One of the biggest issues I carry with me is fear of not being truly understood. Most of the time, I do not feel understood. Not a good feeling. Most of us long to have someone that really understands and"gets" us. Often times I don't feel like I do. Part of that is directly connected to the fact that I reveal very little about the deeper parts of myself because of being misunderstood in the past. So for the most part now...I just don't do it. Sad actually. But being understood is important. It is important for all of us. Even me.

God is working on this with me and has shared some interesting things with me about this over the last 24hours. I will try my best to pull it all together and write about it when I have the opportunity to organize my thoughts.

Stay tuned.

PLEASE....

If you haven't done so already, please get out and vote. Today is your LAST chance. Lives are literally at stake.

Ascension

Christ's Ascension.

Beautiful.

Preachy?

What is the deal with people refusing to forgive? I just don't get it. Some people will tell you that they just can't forgive someone for this or that. Others will say they have forgiven someone, but you can tell for certain that they haven't by their words and actions. Why do we withhold forgiveness?

I had someone tell me yesterday that she and her husband will not ever forgive someone (that I know), because he did some very hurtful things that they believe as Christians were very wrong. Does anyone other than me see some very conflicting words in that statement? "...as Christians," "will not ever forgive," WHAT? And what is worse is that the very thing that she will not forgive is something she herself has done. I am having trouble with this.

I feel I should help her see the conflicts in her statement/actions, but in a loving way. I don't want to be preachy or alienate the possibility to show her that Christianity in fact is built on forgiveness. I am not sure exactly how to go about helping without coming across the wrong way. One wrong word could lose me the opportunity to assist here. So, as always I am praying about it.

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of who Christ is and who we should strive to emulate. He's forgiven me SO much, who am I to ever withhold it from someone else? That doesn't mean I have to say that something someone did wrong, was OK. Doesn't mean we have to be close friends. Doesn't mean many things. BUT forgivenes does need to happen, especially if I am going to pin the name Christian to myself. Right? Someone please tell me if I am off base. I care about all of these people and I don't want to see them forever bogged down in unforgiveness, but I also don't want to Bible thump or be preachy, etc...

I'll be praying. I know if God wants to use me here He will. And if He does, He will give me the words or lay out the opportunity.

God, I am listening...