Revolving Stages

The stages of a rose are the stages of me. Only my stages don’t always flow in the same order and mine repeat themselves over the years. Sometimes I am the bud. I feel closed up, tight, and protective, yet the outside still looks welcoming and soft. But the reality is that I am guarded and wound up really tightly inside. Other times, I am in full bloom. My petals are open wide, strong but soft, I give off a beautiful fragrance, and I am at the peak of what I was created to be. Then other times, I am drooping on my stem, with petals missing, and the remaining petals are battered getting brown and brittle. I am worn and used up.

I’d much prefer to always be in the full bloom stage. Perhaps someday I will. Life batters each and every rose. It is reality. Today I feel that in most areas of my life I am in the full bloom stage. However, in one area of my life I am the protective bud and in another I am the withering on the stem. But all in all I am in full bloom and I love it! And I have some steps in place to work on the other areas to draw them into bloom as well.

Am I the only one with revolving stages?? Do you have them too?

I LOVE 3/16

Have you ever been in the thick of a painful time in your life when you truly question how you will ever get through it or IF you will ever get through it? THEN, did you look up after some significant amount of time and realize you did in fact make it through…and you are OK? I find myself there today. It is a good place to be: on the other side of a painful chapter in life. You can see so much from “the other side.” The times in our lives when we are so engulfed in struggle and/or pain are the BIGGEST catalysts for significant growth. God works most diligently on me in those times.

Today is a significant day for me. Some of you know the significance; others will not. That’s ok. But today is a day of reflection and joy. There was a point where I thought that the 16th of March would always be painful. But thankfully, I was wrong (and that happens a lot). It is a wonderful day. It is a beautiful day full of wonderful memories and amazing growth. Because of March 16th I am a better person, a better friend, a better woman. I am a woman fully relying on God, not on myself or anyone else. I am thankful for March 16th. It was a blessing and an honor. I am thankful to have a God who walked me through the pain and showed me the beauty that I was refusing to face. March 16th is a very special day for many different reasons.

I discovered more of who I am and who God created me to be BECAUSE of March 16th. I am a strong woman, full of love, life, laughter, and resiliency. I am not my own. I am His. I am joyful and thankful for every single moment of the journey. And I look forward to life journeys ahead. God has a plan and I joyfully follow along trusting Him with each step I take. I know He has been with me with each step this far and I trust Him to guide each one going forward.

Thank you God for 3/16 and 3:16. There is much significance.

It's ALWAYS Something.

Kids often say whatever pops into their heads. It can be horribly embarrassing for a parent. I was sitting in a fast food restaurant with my daughter the other day. (Yes, I feed my child fast food sometimes. I am that kind of mom. Don't judge.) At another table sat a young couple. The young woman was wearing a TON of makeup on her face. It was WAY too much. Of course my daughter noticed this and in her innocent excitement kept poking me and saying "A clown, a clown, a clown mom!" I tried my best to get her to lower her voice. I am hopeful that "the clown" didn't hear her.

Deep down it was actually quite amusing, but on the surface it was a bit embarrassing. You just never know what a child's mind will process and how it will come bursting forth from their mouths. But believe me, it is ALWAYS something.

You give up a lot of "stuff" when you have children. You really do. But what you get in exchange for what you give up is SO much more. And even in those awkward moments, like the one with the "clown" it is so worth it. She's keeps me laughing and I promise you, I am NEVER EVER bored!

Life is good. Life is funny. LAUGH OUT LOUD. It is too short not to. ;)

Your Dad was the Kind of Man...

As many of you know, the past month has been very difficult for me. I wrote my last post the day before a tragedy. My boss, friend, pastor, and SO much more passed away last month. It was COMPLETELY unexpected; Jimmy was only 33. He was a rare man: GODLY yet so real. He was the kind of man I so admire: The REAL DEAL! I could go on and on about what a great man he was and how much he meant to so many people and ministries, but that isn’t exactly what the point of this post is...

Today I am working on a project which is starting with a (long) list of men who are going to be writing to Jimmy’s two son’s (ages 4 years and 10 months) called: Your Dad was the Kind of Man…

God forbid anything were to happen to you…but IF it did and you had small children that wouldn’t KNOW you, what do you think people would write about you to tell your children WHO you really were? Are you TODAY who you truly want to be? If not, WHY NOT? Do not waste any more time; you may not have time left. YOU DO NOT KNOW! Start living in a way that you leave behind a GODLY LEGACY. What would they write about you today? What could they say? Is it enough for you? Do you want to be more? Do you want to leave more behind as your legacy?

I’ve really had to stop and ponder so many things lately-Reorganize what is TRULY important for me-Eliminate what is toxic to me and my relationship with daughter and our life together on this earth. I don’t want to be a slave to my job (even my job in ministry); I don’t want to be a slave to unhealthy relationships; I don’t want to be a slave to my finances and desire for THINGS; I don’t want to be a slave to “finding a man”. Organizing this project for these men to write to these children, whose dad they will only know through what other people tell them, has REALLY touched me deeply. I want to be a LIGHT and JOY and a BEACON pointing to Christ. I want to truly LIVE! TODAY! I want to make a difference. I want to GIVE not take. I want to be the REAL DEAL. I want to leave a Godly Legacy, just like my dear friend Jimmy York. How about you?