The unknown is something that I've said here before that I truly dislike. I mean that mostly in regards to my life personally. It is human nature to have a plan and to like knowing where things are heading. I don't particularly like big gaps or unexpected detours on my road map. I like surprises, truly, a good surprise-party, or an unexpected admirer or something like that is OK. But what I don't like is the unknown: Having a road mapped out in your mind only to find that when you get a quarter of the way into your journey you find that your road led you to a huge chasm and on the other side of the chasm isn't simply the other side of your road. Instead you see forty-seven roads to choose from...or you see no road at all. I have a few of those situations in my life right at this very moment.
I don't like that--at all. You see, not only do you have forty-seven choices to work through...or NONE...you also have to figure out how to get across the chasm to make those choices or where to go if you have to turn back. I have a road in my life that I feel has led me to a chasm with no options on the other side. I also have a few roads that have led me to many other choices or options that I wasn't necessarily prepared to make and I also have to work on how to get over the chasm to make those choices. So...
What to do? What to do? I like choices and options and I am blessed to have them in the certain areas of life. I know this. BUT, I don't take life-decisions lightly...and these are life-decisions. These are not "what do I want to eat for dinner," or, "what am I going to wear today," decisions. They are critical. That creates a lot of pressure within me. And it is pressure that is only coming from within me. No person or situation is creating that pressure; it is internal.
So here I am staring at the unknown--the chasms in my life. Prayer, thought, wisdom, and time are needed to successfully maneuver through these places on my map that I never saw when I was initially plotting my journey. (sigh)
I know I am not alone. I have God!!! I also have an amazing family, many wonderful and insightful friends, and so much more. But truly when the choices have to be made...I alone make them. I continue to ask for your prayers, your encouragement and patience with me. This has been an incredibly blessed journey so far and I know the rest of the way will be too. I just can't see where the road is taking me in so many areas of my life and I remain...unsettled. The unknown continues to unsettle me and I don't like that, but I will not be paralyzed by it. I refuse to look at these choices and freeze with indecision. They are certainly not bigger than me. They do not tower over me. They will be overcome with purposeful intent backed by wisdom and desire to serve God fully in every single area of my life.
Please pray for me and know that I immensely appreciate it!!!
3 comments:
This post reminded me of the quote from John Lennon (I think) "Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans".
Perspective. ALWAYS put things, decisions, choices, etc, into perspective. The BEST perspective I've found is the ETERNAL perspective. Using it sort of puts things into "perspective" like nothing else.
I don't have any words of wisdom, at least not anything that I've not said here before or told you in person. Just know that you are ALWAYS in my prayers. I know that God will guide you to the answers you seek...and you know it too :)
Post a Comment