What is the deal with people refusing to forgive? I just don't get it. Some people will tell you that they just can't forgive someone for this or that. Others will say they have forgiven someone, but you can tell for certain that they haven't by their words and actions. Why do we withhold forgiveness?
I had someone tell me yesterday that she and her husband will not ever forgive someone (that I know), because he did some very hurtful things that they believe as Christians were very wrong. Does anyone other than me see some very conflicting words in that statement? "...as Christians," "will not ever forgive," WHAT? And what is worse is that the very thing that she will not forgive is something she herself has done. I am having trouble with this.
I feel I should help her see the conflicts in her statement/actions, but in a loving way. I don't want to be preachy or alienate the possibility to show her that Christianity in fact is built on forgiveness. I am not sure exactly how to go about helping without coming across the wrong way. One wrong word could lose me the opportunity to assist here. So, as always I am praying about it.
Forgiveness is a cornerstone of who Christ is and who we should strive to emulate. He's forgiven me SO much, who am I to ever withhold it from someone else? That doesn't mean I have to say that something someone did wrong, was OK. Doesn't mean we have to be close friends. Doesn't mean many things. BUT forgivenes does need to happen, especially if I am going to pin the name Christian to myself. Right? Someone please tell me if I am off base. I care about all of these people and I don't want to see them forever bogged down in unforgiveness, but I also don't want to Bible thump or be preachy, etc...
I'll be praying. I know if God wants to use me here He will. And if He does, He will give me the words or lay out the opportunity.
God, I am listening...
5 comments:
Hmmm. Dangerous question. I will say what I think anyway. Jesus (in my view) opposed elitism. Nothing infuriated him more than people that spoke for God based upon the law and their beliefs based on their insight seen through the tiny peephole of their earthly lives and education. I would be careful trying to educate somebody based on what you think you know, no matter who or how many back you up. Jesus often opposed the ideas of the people in charge, you think it is any different today?
The response you got CLEARLY indicates a terrible lack of knowledge regarding our Master. This problem, was the same problem Jesus encountered when He was here. He said the problem CLEARLY indicated a lack of knowledge of the Father. His life was spent trying to "show us the Father," through the life He lived and the sacrifice He made for us. Yet when we neglect MMLJ, our knowledge base defaults back to the same place the Jews were before Christ came. MMLJ is the ONLY cure for the unforgiveness issue we all face without Christ. When, not if, God gives you the opportunity to assist in this matter, witness to them about the forgiveness you have received and how glad you are the the Great Redeemer (Great Forgiver) came to reveal the forgiving heart of the Father.
Thanks for the responses, it's great when people have something to say and aren't ashamed to do so.
Wise words Lance, "be careful"! Something we should all heed in all matters, but especially those of this nature. I was---and it went well. God is good.
Elitist...interesting perception. I am not one. No one in this scenario is one or is a person "in charge" by any means, just a couple of old friends talking about some old situations. I didn't say a word about my inner turmoil when this conversation took place. I wanted to let God work it out in me. So I was patient and just listened to her...and then took to God on my own.
I would hate to think that I should not share what the Bible clearly illustrates Christ is like, with others using my limited human scope, small peephole or education (study of the Bible). Plus, I would not do it in any way other than to share with them my story of the forgiveness that I have experienced both from God and from others...all of whom I totally did not deserve it from. Forgiveness is always undeserved. Huge reason it is such a beautiful/effective thing. Forgiveness is, based on scripture, a very Christ-like action. I know this without doubt and I am not ashamed to share that with anyone. But, I would do so in love and with compassion. Anything that I would share with another person, including anything else in this blog, is also ENTIRELY applicable to me. Always is. Always. Probably more so than to anyone else. And I state that as well.
All of that aside, I handled this situation already, by sharing my story and what forgiveness has done/changed in my life by giving it and receiving it. It was well received. Woo hoo! Things always are when we ask for God to use us.
Ephesians 4:32
2 Timothy 4:2
I do not think my self better than ANYONE else on this planet. No one! Quite to the contrary. I am not an elitist by any stretch of the imagination. I care. Pure and simple. And it hurts me when I see people bound up in unforgiveness... because I too have been there and I know firsthand what it is like. I certainly do not believe that I have it all down. I struggle (A LOT) and I gladly share that with ANYONE, especially someone I would be talking to about such a topic.
Thanks for the great comments and for stepping up to say how you guys see things. I appreciate input!! Thanks for speaking up. Wise words from both responders. I love it!
One additional thought. Often, when people say things of the nature you describe, we do not feel it is "our place" to comment or to confront, BUT (and here's the opportunity we miss when we do not answer the call) if we do not say anything they may think we agree, or that we don't disagree. According to what I read, we are indeed our brother's keeper, and I personally have gained so much from people who have risked my wrath while pointing out things that I needed to take a second, more insightful, look at. Iron does indeed sharpen iron. Passivity was not THE identifying character trait I saw in the life of Christ, and if we want to be like (passionate) Him, we must care enough to make others take a second look.
Well said.
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