Wait.

Have you ever heard God say, "Wait."? I bet you have. I have too. Have you ever been OK with waiting? Really? Truth-serum-honestly OK with it? Well, patience has never been my strong-suit. I am getting better about it as I get older...better, but not good. It's tough to wait.

Are you waiting right now? Why do you think that is His response? Have you thought about it? Have you tried reasoning it out? Perhaps He is simply wanting to see your response. Perhaps it isn't that what you want isn't ready or isn't right. Perhaps it's not that you aren't ready. Perhaps He wants to see your faith and patience illustrated.

There is something in my life I have been praying about for quite a while. I have been reaching roadblocks and speed bumps and potholes for some time. All of a sudden...there was nothing. No movement. No YES and no NO. Silence. Inactivity. God said "Wait." What do I do with that? If understood why I was waiting, wouldn't that be easier? But I didn't understand. I didn't understand the ceasing of all progress AND all hindrance. Perhaps THAT was the test. What will she do if nothing happens? How will she respond if everything regarding this prayer ceases? Will her faith be illustrated or will her lack of faith?

Well, I went to bed a few nights ago incredibly discouraged. I was tired, grumpy, frustrated, and disappointed about the whole thing. I was on the verge of giving up. Even on the verge of making counter-effective decisions. Rash decisions. Flight decisions (fight or flight). But I didn't. Instead, I fell asleep praying. I asked God to clear my head, to straighten my thinking, to help me understand and/or accept the silence of the situation, to help me remain steadfast instead of caving into defeat. I needed Him to intervene in my head, because my head was betraying my heart. My heart belongs to Him. My heart needed His strength to stand up against my head and its sometimes silly logic.

And guess what, I woke up the next morning renewed! The silence became irrelevant. I had peace. I felt serene again. I knew that I wasn't getting a NO, just a WAIT. I knew my prayer was in line with His will. I knew it would be wrong to do anything other than wait on Him no matter the reason. And only one day later my prayer was answered with a resounding YES! Perhaps in the silence that nearly made me panic...perhaps in those telling moments He was watching to see how deeply I trusted in Him and how dedicated I was to what I was praying about. The moment I stopped wrestling with it and gave it up to Him, He turned WAIT into YES.

I grinned ear to ear, laughing and shaking my head at myself for having had such a struggle in the first place. I know better. Always trust in Him...even in the dead silence.

Thank You God for the YES...AND for the WAIT. I understand what it was about...now. I'll remember next time around. Wink.