The Perfect Church!

For those who go around complaining that they cannot find the perfect church. Let me give you something to chew on. If you do find this perfect church, there would be a problem! The minute you go and join that church, it would no longer be perfect. That's a fact. Think about it.

Scripture Insight...What do You Think?

I listened to someone talk about this verse recently and I wanted to get your thoughts on it as well.

A man of great wrath (anger) will suffer punishment; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again. Proverbs 19:19

What does this verse mean to you?

(I love Proverbs, I know, I know, I've told you guys that a million times, but it is like an instruction manual for life; real, everyday life! I love that.)

Eternal Wonder and Amazement

I cannot believe that my little one is almost two years old. (That pic was taken almost a year ago at her first birthday) That is just crazy! Where does time go? Its almost as though if you blink you miss it. She changes so much week after week. She's developing a really funny little sense of humor. She absolutely cracks me up. (She cracks herself up too, by the way.)

There are so many different things that I love about her. She is funny. She is sweet. She is strong-willed. She is confident. She is so very friendly. She doesn't know that she is not the center of the universe. She goes into a restaraunt a waves and says HI to everyone that passes by, without exception. And she certainly doesn't forget to wave bye bye to them as she is leaving, as if to annouce to everyone, "You can now go back to your boring little lives, the sunshine is now leaving the restaraunt!" She is fearless too. She sees something she wants to do and she goes for it with reckless abandon. She is also incredibly tough. I love that. No whiney babies here! She falls down, runs into something, whatever it is, she just shakes it off and keeps on going. I love it. She's only been noticably fearful of a handful of people in her whole life. But most people, she just loves instantly! She has no concept of cautiousness with her heart. I wish I was still like that. She has no concept of her inability to do something. She fully believes that she can do anything. I wish I was still like that. She is taken by wonder and amazement at the world around her all day, everyday. I wish I was still like that. She is unashamed. She will sing, dance, and groove her little self in the silliest of ways with no thought of "Do I look stupid to anyone?" She couldn't care less what other people think. I wish I was still like that. She trusts those around her. She has no concept of being let down or disappointed. I wish I was still like that.

Oh the wonder and innocence of children. I wish I still had that. It is no wonder that Jesus so loves the little children. They are so new, so fresh, so untainted and unjaded by this world of broken people. If only we could stay that way!

The great thing is...I believe with all of my heart, that is what Heaven will be like. All of the junk and funk that we all drag around with us here will be gone. It won't even be a bad memory. It simply won't exist. We will have no concept of that ever again. All will be renewed, refreshed, clean, pure and innocent. I cannot wait. Sometimes I just get weary from dealing with others junk and funk and dysfunction...as well as my own. It is wonderful to know there is an end to it. There is hope, promise, and renewal. There is heaven, there is an eternity with God himself. I cannot wait. We will all be children, full of wonder, awe, and amazement once again, never to be tainted or jaded. Pure innocence, love, worship, and fellowship with our creator forever and ever. Amazing to ponder, isn't it?

Change

You know, a butterfly must break free of his cocoon on his own. He must do the long hard work and push and pull and fight to get out of his cocoon. It takes quite a while if you've ever watched the process. It looks very painful actually. They struggle. They rest. They struggle some more. They fight and fight and fight their way out of there. It is a grueling process for these beautiful little creatures. If you have ever watched it, you want to help them. But if you do, if you help release them from their cocoon and they do not do the work themselves to get out...they will die. The struggle is what makes them strong enough to survive and then thrive. Not too different from me or you for that matter. Only that the beautiful butterfly only has to do this once. I've had to get out of my cocoon many times in my life. The metamorphosis is a beautiful one...but the struggle is so very hard. But if you see what emerges, it is so worth the struggle, it is exquisite and breathtaking!

In the spirit of, or inspired by, ineed2change.com, there are several things that I am working on changing in my life. I am excited and even a little nervous about some of these changes...but I am committed to a handful of changes that I feel I must make in order for me to be the ME that God is calling me to become. The ME that HE designed, not the me that I designed or the me that I feel/felt anyone else wanted me to be. I want to ask you guys to pray for me to push hard, be bold, have strength, and make these changes happen in my life. I've been at this kind of crossroad in my life before and have been able to fully rely on God to carry me through with the vision He put in my heart. Please pray that I am obedient to that again and that the results bring Him praise and glory again. I momentarily put on blinders, crawled into my cocoon of grief and hurt, and spent several days lamenting where my life is and where I thought it was going in the aftermath of having several beautiful dreams shattered into a million little pieces. Notice though, that I said momentarily. In my decision to not allow circumstances and people to change me, my heart, or my goals, I have come to a place where I have had to stop, think, make some choices, make some changes, and stretch out my wings again. I am just about to take off in flight. And while I know it will be exhilarating, I know it will be a little a little scary too. But sometimes in our lives certain things have to be done. Sometimes you have to be rocked to your very core to get you to the next place, the next step, the next level in your life that God wants to bring you to. I AM THERE. I am preparing to take that first step. I am just about to emerge again, unfold these wings and fly forward. FORWARD. Pray for me. I so want to bring Him glory, honor, and praise. I need to change. I need to change. I need to change. And so it begins... My metamorphosis!

I Found God's Heart...at the Office!

I work with some of the greatest people on the planet. I truly do. It's amazing to be able to go to work and sit down and pray, sing, laugh, cry, and deeply connect with your colleagues. Rare! There are people there that I have truly only known for a few months who have become so dear to me. People who truly care about me and my life. People who allow me into their lives and their hearts as well. They are just amazing.

Just today I had the sweetest person here, pull me aside and hug the stuffing out of me. She sees into my heart and knows that even though I am healing from my heartache, that it is not instantaneous. She isn't even in the same building, but makes an effort to stop by visit, make me laugh, and give me a big bear hug. What a blessing!

On Tuesday, I sat with another wonderful person while he prayed over my sister's surgery and the questions I am struggling with in my personal life. He gave me Godly, sound insight and furthered me along in this process of healing and reawakening. I sat down in his office feeling a little down, having back-slid a little in this healing process, and I left his office laughing, inspired, and full of faith and hope. Another amazing blessing.

I could continue on and on. People I don't even know really well have just been a little brighter, cheerier, and more joyful as I interact with them. Is it my new outlook, my changed perception? OR is it God extending His heart to me using these people of flesh and bone to bless me and lift me further and further up? Is it both?

Whatever it is, I know it is all of God, because He loves me so. He wraps His arms around me so often during my workday through the amazingly caring and giving staff that I work with. Who could ask for more?

They Are Everywhere.

I shouldn't be, but I am (again) amazed at how faithful God is to me. From one week ago, feeling like I'd never be able to breathe again to today feeling joyful and at peace. Prayer is SO powerful. God is the greatest comforter. He alone has comforted me and built me up again in so many ways. He also has surrounded me with angels who have gone above and beyond for me over the past week. I even found angels in some of the most unexpected places. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. I trust that God knows what is very best for me. I trust that He knows what I don't know, that He sees what I cannot see. I feel like a dark cloud has been lifted from over my head and has been replaced with sunshine. What a difference a few days can make when God is hard at work in your life. What HE wants will be. What HE does not want, will not be. I am content with that.

Thank You God for being so good to me and for blessing me as richly as you have. Thank You for the many lessons I have learned over the past week and even over the past months. Thank You for surrounding me with amazing people, family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers. Thank You for the strength You've poured into me that I never dreamed I could muster. I stand in awe and in amazement at how skillfully and beautifully You restore me. In all things I praise You. In all my ways let me bring glory to You. In my storms and in my triumphs, You reign in majesty. Thank You for loving me so much more than I can even fathom!

I love You Lord.

Peace Again...At Last.

Spent some time yesterday and late this afternoon, as the sun went behind the house and shaded the yard, to lay on my back next to my little girl, in the cool green grass. We had beautiful moments together. Watching the sky and the leaves in the trees above blow in the breeze. We giggled together and just enjoyed nature and each other. We kicked our legs in the air together, which she found utterly hilarious. They were much needed, always remembered moments between a mom and her angel.

Thank you God for reminding me that my trials are truly minor and that I have ALL that I need and so much more. I am incredibly blessed in so many many ways. When I think of all that He has given me, it astonishes me that I could ever want for more. I had temporarily forgotten just how much I have been given. He gives and takes away. And it truly is alright. I am joyful. I am hopeful. I am His child. Blessed way beyond what I could ever dream for. Thank you my God. I love you deeply.

What's a little rain, anyway?

I can count a million times

People asking me how

I Can praise You with all that I've gone through

The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly

Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed

Long before these rainy days

It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord

My only shelter from the storm

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of

The dark clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me

By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray

Holy, holy, holy Is the Lord God Almighty

--Mercy Me--

God, You've sheltered me and carried me through much bigger storms than this. I've always come out stronger because of the rain. While it may be storming now, I know that You are bigger than this pain. You will be praised through this. I will be stronger and closer to You because no matter what Satan tries to destroy within me, he WILL fail. I momentarily listened to his whispers, believed his lies, as the wind blew and the rain pelted my face stinging my skin and mixing with the tears. But then, I stopped. I looked up. I saw You. And while he continued to whisper in my ear, I finally stopped listening. He is a liar. He sought to kill and destroy me and while he may have destroyed what I thought was solid, it was simply earthly. I know that You are ALL that is solid. So I cling to You in this storm and I know that You hold me. I praise You in this storm. I praise You for what you are doing in me right at this very moment. I praise You for what You've shown me about myself and my worth over the past few days. You have plans for me, amazing plans. Bigger and better than what I dreamed. While I cannot see Your plan right now, just knowing that You are orchestrating it brings me peace and is worthy of my praise. Thank you God for this storm. I know You will be glorified in it. I know I will be better and stronger and able to serve You even more because of this momentary rain. Rain is what causes things to grow!

I am YOURS; daughter of THE King. And I am because of precious and mighty Jesus. In HIS name...AMEN!