It's been a really interesting 24 hours. Sadly, not all good. But that's because Satan is alive and well, and unfortunately this world is his playground. And who does he want to come out and play with him? All of us. Only, he doesn't play nice. He doesn't play fair. He is rough and dangerous. He's a vicious bully. He's tried to pull several fast ones on me over the last day or so. He takes cheap shots; he jabs me when I am not looking, in places where he knows it will hurt the most.
How cruel. How mean. But that is just who he is. Sometimes I think he forgets who I belong to. He wants me to become bitter, resentful, distrusting, hardened, and calloused. He wants me to believe the worst about people and to distrust every living soul. He has tried to use those that mean the most to me, to hurt me. He wants me to give up my hopes and dreams. He wants me to believe lies that one of the cruelest people I have ever known said about me...that "no one would ever really want to be with you if they knew everything about you." He's trying to resurface old fears, mistrust, and self-loathing. And boy, he gets SO close to getting me headed in that direction. SO CLOSE. But thankfully, God sent His Holy Spirit to be with us after Jesus went back to be with Him. He did not leave us out here on the playground all alone with the bully. He gave us the Holy Spirit.
I went to bed last night struggling with MANY things. Many questions. Many emotions. Some really, really good; some really, terribly BAD! Took me A LONG TIME to fall asleep. I could have very easily decided to be angry, hurt, resentful, vengeful, and distrusting of all people going forward. But I cried out to my God for help. I don't want to believe Satan's lies. I don't want to become jaded by betrayal. I don't want to be hardened. I don't want to withdraw from others in an effort to self-protect. But that is EXACTLY what Satan wants me to do. He pulled every punch he had over the past 24 hours. He revealed his evil influence in the lives of people I care VERY DEEPLY for. He wants me to believe there is nothing stronger than him. But you know what, after that tumultuous night, I woke up renewed. I prayed for a clear mind and heart. I prayed for the dear sweet family that he is torturing right now. I prayed for a true picture of who I am in God's eyes, not who I am in the eyes of those who judge me and label me as damaged. I am beautiful and whole in every way in His eyes and that's enough for me. I woke up content. I woke up with a forgiving heart. I woke up with peace. I woke up determined that I am going to continue to be ME...open, honest, forgiving, gracious, and full of hope and with my dreams intact. HE WILL NOT ROB ME OF THOSE THINGS. (But I know he will keep trying...)
The Holy Spirit is in my corner. He helps me fight. He helps me to be strong. He helps me every step I take, every day of my life. My heart will not be hardened. I am not alone. The playground bully will not take me down!!!
5 comments:
I know EXACTLY what you mean!! As we discussed earlier, that BULLY has been working hard on me for the last few days too...trying to convince me that my "knee-jerk" reactions to certain situations are the "right" things to do. Thank you so much for your encouragement and for posting this blog as a reminder to me (and I'm sure others) that we CANNOT and WILL NOT be bullied.
He (Satan) knows full well who we belong to, He even knows the price paid to buy us (Christ's Blood), but he, like all good salesmen, never takes no for an answer, He just keeps coming at us with more lies.
When I was growing up, the bullies did not bother me, they had respect for my, call it, personality. But the meeker kids were always their targets, and many of them ran to me for protection from the bullies. I loved that role of protector. But now, when "the bully" comes for me, I run to the Holy Spirit, because I am smart enough to know that Satan has the power to tear me to pieces. My friend (the Holy Spirit) always makes short work of him. I'm glad He's there for me.
Hey, I know how u feel!!! Satan is a BULLY, and he did things to me in the past. glad he's not doing things to me now these days. Thanks for sharing this with us. I'm glad that we have the Lord with us everywhere we go, and we can just ask Him for help. Because He is stronger than the bully. Again, thank u for sharing this with us.^^
I know how you feel, and I'm just glad that we have the Lord to come to in times of trouble, especially since Satan is doing things to us. Thanks for sharing this with us.^^
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