The Booby-Prize?

I have so many things swirling around in my head that I'd like to write about but no one thing is jumping out as a top priority. Usually when I write it is because something is in me that HAS to come out. Right now I have a handful of things like that but not one of them is pushing and shoving and jumping to the front of the line. So I am left trying to sort out my thoughts and determine what I want/need to write first.

So here goes, I am just going to let the words flow, hopefully, from a divine source, instead of from me:

I went to church on Mother's Day with my parents. We attended their church. I really enjoyed seeing people I hadn't seen in many years. I enjoyed being with my parents. I enjoyed what the preacher spoke about. It has lingered with me since Sunday.

He simply presented the story of Leah.
Many times, Leah is more of a side-note than the focus of the story. Jacob LOVED her sister Rachel. If you read the story...it is a deep PASSION this man has for beautiful Rachel. He agreed to work 7 years for her father to get Rachel as his wife. Rachel was stunningly beautiful. Jacob would have done ANYTHING to be with Rachel. And he did. After those seven years of laboring for Rachel's father, he was married, but only to find that he was given the "wrong" sister. It was Leah, not Rachel. He did not want Leah. He wanted Rachel. He loved Rachel. He would do anything for Rachel. But Leah? Uh, no thanks! Rachel was the treasured prize, but Leah was the booby-prize. Imagine what it must have been like to be Leah. How must that have felt? Eventually Jacob was able to "obtain" Rachel as well. What a relief for Jacob. His true love. His beautiful one. The story goes on and on of Leah taking last place in her husband's eyes and heart. She bore him many children. But she grew closer to God along her journey. But always was the "unwanted" one. The scraps. Have any of you ever felt that way? Have you ever spent years desiring to be "seen" and "loved" by someone, only to feel invisible, unseen, and unwanted? I know many of us have. I know many readers here who have. I have. Many of my friends have. Whether it was a parent whose love you could never obtain, or a male or female you loved but were never loved in return. MANY of us know the pain and suffering of feeling "unwanted" and unseen. It is painful and sometimes can leave permanent damage.

But if you watch/read closely the story of Leah, she grew more content, closer to her God, and more and more accepting of her place in life. And God saw it! He knew. He saw what no one else could see. He saw the beauty in Leah. And He blessed her. Did you realize that it was through HER son Judah's lineage, that Christ came? She was also with whom Jacob, her husband, chose to be buried. Not with Rachel...which was actually a closer location at the time of his death than where Leah was buried. But he was buried with Leah. Perhaps even in the end Jacob finally saw her true value and depth and in death chose to be placed with her. But WOW, to be the mother of the lineage of Christ??? NOT Rachel...the beautiful one, but Leah the "unwanted".

God sees all that we are, all that we endure, all of the growth that happens in shoes like Leah's and He will bless us if we hold fast, remain faithful, and continue to draw near to Him. I think that in the end, I'd prefer to play the role of Leah. It's not an easy role, but the easy role is not always the most blessed, as this story so eloquently illustrates.

I've felt like Leah before in my life with people I deeply loved who never saw my true value and beauty and left me...unloved and unwanted. And it stung, it hurt, it damaged my heart. But God sees. HE knows. And He blesses me now and will continue blessing me down the road. That goes for each of you reading this who are walking or have walked in shoes like Leah's. Have faith. Remain steadfast. HE SEES YOU! And He WILL bless you in His way and in His time.