Have you ever damaged someone? It is hard to live through life without causing or receiving some damage. Many times---both. Sometimes we aren't even aware of damage that we inflict upon others. Yet, sometimes we are keenly aware. There are people that I have severely damaged. They aren't "in my life" anymore. That's how it often times goes when "significant" damage is done. It was not intentional. Even on my worst day...I would never intentionally hurt anyone. It's not in my nature. Even so, years ago, my selfish actions wreaked havoc on others. Those situations arose from my selfishness and out of my own damage. (It can be a vicious cycle.)
I recently heard about one of those people. Apparently their life isn't going well. My first instinct is to take the blame...thinking it is all about ME. Ha! (Talk about self-focused.) But then I took a step back, and I realized those thoughts were foolish. Satan wants me to feel responsible above and beyond what I am responsible for. Especially if it will hurt me and bind me up in guilt. I know that some of the hurt I caused may have spawned from damage done to me done by others...but I alone am responsible for my actions. I alone made those damaging choices. The original parties that hurt me WERE NOT RESPONSIBLE for MY choices and decisions to follow. We cannot pass the buck that way. Thus, I am not responsible for other's life choices, even after damage I may have caused. Each individual walking this earth is responsible for their own choices. But Satan would love for me to feel as though I were solely responsible. You see, he likes that chain to go unbroken.
I too have been damaged since those instances. Quite deeply. Yet, I choose to break the cycle each time it occurs. I refuse to hold anyone else responsible for my life or my choices going forward. The only one responsible for me is ME. I don't play the blame card as an excuse. I also release those people in forgiveness and grace. They need it and so do I. Not doing so causes further damage. I also don't carry around burdens that do not belong to me. I apologized profusely to those I that I had hurt, from a truly sorrowful heart. Some graciously granted me undeserved forgiveness. I repented of those behaviors and turned away from them once and for all. I know God has fully forgiven me. And so I moved on, wiser and less selfish in my actions, and aware of the ways that Satan will use my past to try to weigh me down. He tried recently to convince me that I am somehow responsible for decisions someone else is currently making several YEARS since I last spoke to them. I momentarily fell for it. I took all responsibility on my shoulders and became horribly saddened and guilt-ridden. But only for a moment. Then the Holy Spirit smacked me upside the head with reality. I am no more responsible for them than those who've hurt me are responsible for me. It just doesn't work that way, no matter how convenient an "OUT" that can be.
I don't know why I am sharing this with you , other than hoping that it will help you see too, the sneaky little ways Satan will come at us...even using our tender hearts against us. You may not have circumstances such as this. But you have others--other ways Satan will sneak up and blindside you. Be watchful of him. He is loose in our world and is wreaking havoc everywhere he goes. Open your eyes and ears to God's Spirit. He will guide you and your heart to wisdom and peace. Even to those of us like me, who least deserve it but are SO thankful for it!
3 comments:
Excellent post! It is impossible to have ANY kind of relationship with another human being without some damage to both parties. Often in retrospect, the damage is the only thing we remember when it comes to a defunct relationship. We tend to forget all the good things that happened, even if the only good thing was a lesson learned. All of us are flawed, no exceptions. Blaming other people for our own choices is not healthy. Blaming ourselves for other's choices can be the most damaging thing of all. Excellent post!
THIS post reveals you. It reveals your heart and your head. But most of all it reveals your spirit. It reminds us all that the blood of Christ washes us clean of the evil we may do. Beyond Godly sorrow, and true repentance, there is often little we can do about the damage we have done, and too often, the sin is washed, but the guilt remains. The Biblical principle is clear, we are all responsible for our own actions and reactions to wrongs. God stands ready to forgive the repentant sinner, but He stands equally ready (and ABLE) to help those of us who have been damaged by others, BUT WE MUST CALL ON HIM! My experience has been that I am responsible for my sin and making things as right as possible after the fact, but not for the guilt that grows out of the injured party's choices resulting from my injury. If they crawl into a bottle, end their life, abandon God, or something of that nature, that's their choice, it is their action, not mine. Here's the bottomline, God knows my heart, and I am glad, because He knows I love Him, and love those I have wronged and apologized to, and He knows that it is then up to the person wronged to move upward in their life. One thing more, the greatest hurt I ever absorbed (and it was horrific) provided me the opportunity to take a loooong look at my self and see the need for substantial change. I praise God for that injury every day, for the person who injured me, and the strength He gave me to overcome it and the long term victory I have gained in Christ. I pray often for the person who injured me and look forward to seeing them in GLORY.
Have you been reading my email???
Seriously, Satan has tried recently to use my tender heart against me, too. I know what you are saying. But through wise friends (you and others), I too was able to see it for what it was.
Great post. I agree with every word!
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