I have to first note that I did not write the following, nor do I know the person who did or even what his name is. And while there are some parts of it that may "bother" the "easily bothered", I wanted to share it, because I find that many of the things this man said are important. I am sure you can weed out the stuff that isn't worth your while. It amazes me that while this man does not proclaim to be a religious man or one that believes in a personal God, that there are so many men who do and say they are followers of Christ and yet cannot conceive of the concepts this man does that so closely emulate Christ...namely sacrifice.
Anyhow, I enjoyed reading this and I hope you will too:
Men have souls. They experience complex emotions which need acknowledgement. They possess a spirituality in need of cultivation. They are only fully human when they learn to have relationships based on trust, honesty, intimacy, sacrifice, and personal integrity.
Regarding married life, it’s just like life in general. Life is suffering, and anyone who thinks otherwise is delusional. Marriage is an ordeal. If the partnership lasts, one of you will watch the other die. If you have children, you will be required to give up some of the things you want in order to provide your children with the things they need.
Your life is not a movie, a sporting event, a letter to Penthouse. Your life is one long (or short in some cases) act of dying. To the degree that your presence on earth brings joy and inspiration and tenderness and compassion into the lives of others, your death will have meaning. To the degree that you put yourself above others and indulge in personal pleasure, your life will be wasted.
No one owes you an orgasm, a smile, a meal, or a cent. You earn such rewards by being forthright, honorable, kind, and generous.
Perfection is not possible or required in marriage. Sacrifice, commitment, communication and love are required. Sexual love depends on all these things. Your personal neuroses and autoerotic fantasies can’t be denied, but keeping them the focus of your existence will leave you an immature and tedious person, in and out of bed, single or attached. More and more, I've come to think that sacrifice is the key. The fact that we live in such a decadent and ignorant era makes personal sacrifice--and the strength and humility and love that animate it--all the more essential to your life and our momentary responsibilities toward one another.
Youth is fleeting, and orgasms come and go, but you will experience pain every single day if you are at all conscious of what it is to be human. How you deal with the pain of life, in yourself and in partnership with others, will determine the sort of man you are.
For the record, I’m 50, have been with my wife 25 years and love her more than ever. Our sexual relationship has been through a lot in that time, and the sex we have today is absolutely mind-blowing. That fact alone keeps me focused on preserving the integrity of our relationship. I’m a very handsome and charismatic guy with plenty of opportunities to cheat over the years, but I’d be cheating myself of the most extraordinary sex I dare imagine if I insulted the honor and devotion of my wife.
My wife is dying of a horrible disease. She suffers every day. Watching her suffer is not easy. Yet, I still desire her, and I make sure we keep romance in our life together. I am completely satisfied in our relationship, despite our imperfections and my personal inadequacies. I will not forsake her in her hour of need, nor would she forsake me.
I’m not religious, nor do I believe in a personal God. I do believe life is sacred and that everyday should be lived as a prayer for our humanity. My life is filled with love, most of it completely undeserved. I’m grateful to have lived long enough to realize these truths.
4 comments:
A good man. Probably successful and respected. I have known people like him (from the small window his writing presents): an atheist that has it together and thinks of others first instead of taking all he can get without any remorse. A grounded and serving spirit. Sometimes I wonder if that type of person will suffer damnation while I will not. Doesn't seem fair and I don't wish damnation on anybody least of all the good ones. I have always been troubled by that.
Thanks for sharing this one. It was an interesting read. He has so much of it right, but...
I pray that he comes to know God as his personal Lord and Saviour and that his wife knows God, too.
IF God gives this man a few more years, perhaps he will find the One He should be grateful to for all the joy and love filling his life. His perspective is great, but incomplete. I hope he finds Him.
The battle I have argued for years now is explaining that men do in fact, have souls, and are not merely witless, conversation-less buffoons too many people stereotype as.
It's easier for the world and the worldy (even those who admit Christ) to pose men as followers instead of leaders.
Most of the world's most captivating, deep, rich and rewarding literature comes from men. I could go on, but suffice to say, this was good.
Interesting that the author is so close to truth yet it eludes him. Lord it is in Your hands.
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