Writing by Faith

Here I am, questioning things again. Why do I do this? What is it that periodically makes me wonder if I am effective in my communication? I write blogs pretty regularly. I write from my heart and soul. I write in order to reach out to people, to give encouragement, to share my experience, and most importantly to please my God.

I go through periods of time when I question if what I write is blessing anyone--or if I am just putting myself out there only to be taking up cyber-space. I truly feel that what I write has been put on my heart by someone higher than myself--my God working through the Holy Spirit. I truly believe that. But with a venue such as this, it's hard to know who, if anyone, is reading. It's even more difficult to know if what they've read made an impact of any kind. It's not that I look for kudos or recognition, because believe me, if these words have made any impact, it is only because God gave them to me. What I miss in this venue is the warmth my heart feels from knowing something God has given me to say has blessed or encouraged or inspired another soul. I can't explain it. Watching the face of someone who all of a sudden "gets it" or seeing God touch someone in a way that they never have been touched before is priceless. And I long to experience the joy in seeing or hearing about such things from my readers.

I want to experience those kinds of things more than I do. I pray that there are readers here that I am unaware of. I pray that this blog has somehow blessed them for having visited here. I pray that, (even though I may not get the [somewhat selfish] joy of knowing it or seeing it,) these words make a difference in someones life.

I suppose that the process here is for me to walk by faith. I need to trust that the words that flood my heart and soul and find their way to this blog, were put there for a higher purpose. That purpose is not for me. It is for the reader. My joy in knowing the results is not the goal, it is just sometimes a wonderful side-blessing for me. I need to get beyond the limitations of this venue and rest assured that there is purpose in my writing, that it is put within me for a reason. I must have faith in that.

I pray that I continue to wake up with new words, new ideas, new revelations that I can't help but put into writing. I pray that those words encourage, inspire, and bless whoever stumbles across this page. I pray a prayer of thanks for those who have been so kind as to encourage my writing and inspire me to continue writing each day. I pray for the humility to keep it up despite never quite knowing if it has impact or not. I pray that I will rely on God to continue to inspire me and to continue providing the joy in writing in this venue.

I would truly appreciate your prayers as well, to go on, to continue serving my God in this manner, with or without concrete knowledge of it's impact. Please pray for me to understand that my only needed feedback comes from the One who called me to write in the first place! I know this, but sometimes I temporarily forget.

Thanks so much for taking time out of your day to stop by whether this is your first visit or if you are a regular reader. I appreciate it more than I could ever say.

How Will They Remember Me?

If you were gone from this earth tomorrow, what do you think you'd leave behind? I don't mean what things or people would you leave behind. I mean, what would be your legacy? How would people remember you? What would they have to say about your life?

Sometimes that is a tough thing to think about. There's so much all of us still have not done, still haven't said, still haven't experienced. But when it comes down to it, there are so few things that really bear depth and true importance. It's not where you traveled, is not the home you lived in, the car you drove, or the job you had. There is a song by Nicole Nordeman that says it all: Legacy. Here is a snippet from that song:

I want to leave a legacy

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love?

Did I point to You enough

To make a mark on things?

I want to leave an offering

A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your Name unapologetically

And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile

To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy

It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile

Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy.

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred

Just want to hear instead, "Well Done, my good and faithful one..."

Boy, for followers of Christ that just says it all! Where is our focus in this life? Is it on what we don't have? WHO we don't have? Is it all about ME? Is it all about YOU? Is negativity and turmoil our legacy? Is selfishness and materialism? Is whining and playing the perpetual victim our legacy? No one wants to be remembered in a negative way. But yet, sometimes we live in such a way that it's hard for others to see much else. Are we striving for recognition? Are we working ourselves so hard in our jobs that they take over our life...over our true calling? What are we filling our lives with? What spills out of our lives onto those around us?

Are we living our lives such that when we are gone, people will say, "That person was daily seeking God, encouraging others, and working hard to lead the lost to Christ. They were a true friend and never left a word of love unsaid." Wouldn't that be awesome? The truth of the matter is that it doesn't matter what people will say when we are gone, but I'd wager that what they will say will reflect fairly accurately on our Christian walk. I want that legacy to be worthy of my calling, to be worthy of my Lord. And His words when we leave this earth are the only ones that matter! I so desperately want to hear Him say, "Well done good and faithful one..."

We should try to take time to reflect honestly on what we think our legacy would be TODAY if we were gone. If you run from those kinds of thoughts maybe you ought to question WHY you run. I've lived moments in my life when I wouldn't reflect on my life because I knew what I would see, and I didn't want to face it. The truth is no one knows how long they have to walk this earth. Let's not waste a moment of it. Refuse to tarnish your legacy! And if you are tarnishing it, STOP. Stop today and clean it up and shine it until it sparkles! Your God deserves the best from you.

Let's all start today. Let's begin to live a life that will always point to Him. Let's live in such a way that we shine, we reflect His love, we honor Him and those around us. Let's spread love and joy. I want to live each day for Him and in a way that if I left TODAY, it could be said of me, "She was daily seeking God, encouraging others, and working hard to lead the lost to Christ. She was a true friend and never left a word of love unsaid." Join me in creating a wonderful legacy. Let Nicole's song ring in your ears! It's so much more than a beautiful song, it is a calling to all of us.

Careful: Contents May Be Shocking!

I watched a television show the other day and learned something quite profound. I don't typically expect to learn something when I watch television, (except when I am tuned in to a documentary and the like) I usually am watching to be entertained. However, this show really made me think. I won't go into the name of the show or the exact content, as that's not the important issue. I want to share with you what I learned.

Socrates once said "The unexamined life is not worth living". I've always agreed with that statement wholeheartedly. So with that frame of mind, I'd like to examine something we call "intentions". They are actually our motives. Here is an example: when asked why someone is working an incredible amount of long hours and the response is that it was because they wanted the money to buy a new car. Seems like a motive or and intention, right? I am doing THIS in order to get THAT. My intention is to have that nice new car. RIGHT? Well, it seemed very simplistic to me. But I was quickly corrected. The word used to describe what the new car actually was, was an OUT-tention (opposite of intention...clever right?). It is what is on the surface. But if you dig deeper into why that person wanted the new car in the first place, THEN you get to the true INTENTION or motive. They actually wanted to impress others, to keep up with the Joneses, etc... So they were working their tail off ultimately in an effort to impress others around them.

OK, so now you have an illustration of this concept, let's think about what happens when we dissect the things we say and do. If we stop for a split second and do this quick analysis in our lives each time we are about to do or say something, it may actually STOP you in your tracks if you are able to recognize the real INTENTION or motivation.

I did this just today. I was about to say something to someone. I stopped before I opened my mouth and was brutally honest with myself. I went beyond the surface (the OUT-tention) and wasn't happy with what I found to be the intention. It really bothered me. It wasn't anything substantial, on the surface, but it gave me a glimpse into the little daily things we all do and say that aren't healthy. There are things that flow out us every day because we don't take the time to analyze WHY. In my instance, I didn't like what I found. However, that displeasure that we have with ourselves often times brings forth change. Change is good. Change can cause GROWTH!

The truth of the matter, is that everything we do has intention/motive. Here's is my example from earlier today: I was going to say something very small and minor to someone today. The statement I was going to make would probably motivate the receiving person to give me a small (truly unnecessary) hand. When I stopped and wondered why I was going to make this tiny little statement, I realized it wasn't that I truly NEEDED a hand. It was that I wanted the receiver to know that I was tired and worn out from "parenting" my child. I wanted them to know I would've liked a momentary break. But when I examined why I wanted the break, the reality wasn't that just I couldn't go on any further. I wasn't at the point of exhaustion. No...I wanted validation. I wanted someone else to reinforce that I am a good mom, that I am devoted, that I work really hard during my day trying to keep up with my wild child. It was embarrassing to admit to myself THAT validation was what I was seeking, NOT a quick helping hand. (It is embarrassing to even admit here.) Now, don't get me wrong, it is good to have help, it is good to take a break, it is healthy and necessary. But my motive here...my true intention--was about validation not about a quick break.

I didn't make the statement to this person, by the way. I was surprised what I found in that small moment of introspect. It was enlightening. This example was not a big deal, but it illustrates on a very small scale, what I learned from watching that show. We needed to evaluate our intentions in the big and small details of our lives. It may completely surprise you, if you are brave enough to look at yourself with true honesty. I was shocked.

Once we see what are true motives are and if we see a pattern of doing and saying things in an effort to impress and please others OR if we are constantly seeking approval or validation we've got some things to deal with. Our goal should only be to please GOD. Our validation should come from within and from Him. For example my validation as a mom has to come from within me. It comes from knowing that I do what is in my child's best interest-that I am a caring, nurturing, sacrificing, giving, adoring mother, who makes certain that her child is in the best possible environment she can possibly be in at all times. I get my validation from BEING a good mom and knowing that within my heart, not from anyone else thinking that I am or saying that I am.

We have to take the time and undergo the discomfort of being honest and real with ourselves. We have to look at our INTENTIONS. Why do you say what you say to your spouse, to your "ex", to your mother, to your friends, to your boss? Why do you do the things you do? In some instances you may be so pleased to find that you have pure, Godly intentions. (I found that to be true of why I write...whew!) Other times, you will be disappointed, embarrassed, and/or frustrated with what you find within yourself. But I imagine that, just like me, those feelings will bring upon change for the better.

Take time to examine your life and your intentions. Go deeper than your 'out-tentions". Find the core motivating factors in the things you do. It just may change your life. It may stop you in your tracks, like it did me. Make Socrates proud. Examine and GROW!

Pearls of Wisdom

WISDOM. I crave it. I know many others do too. And what is truly strange is that I also know that many couldn't care less. I find that mind-boggling! Wisdom is one of the things I most desire.

In my search for wisdom, last night, I ran across an old friend of mine. This friend is a virtual treasure trove of wisdom, full of those highly sought after pearls! I couldn't believe it had been so long since we'd spent time together. I mean from the minute he speaks--wisdom is everywhere! Why had I waited so long to visit with him? I know what an amazing resource he's been in the past. I am ashamed to say that it has been years since we've really sat down together. It's one of those realizations we all have from time to time where we say, "What was I thinking, why did I wait so long to get together with you?!?!" But let me tell you, our time together last night was inspired! It was beautiful. I learned so much and was reminded of the lessons I have learned the last time he shared his wisdom with me. I'd be in much better shape if I didn't go so long between time with him.

I am betting that you think that perhaps I am not speaking about a person, or maybe you think that I am referring to talking with God in prayer or sitting down and reading the words of our Savior. Well, no. My friend is something a little different than prayer or the words of The Christ, but is chock full of wisdom no less. (And no, to those of you who know me WELL, I didn't sit down and talk with my dad either...) My friend is a source of wisdom outside of my normal three choices: God via prayer, the life and words of Christ via the Bible, and my dad. This source is one I had almost forgotten about, but deep down I simply adore!

What I am referring to is not a person at all. (I bet you had figured that already) It is a book. One of the greatest books ever printed, in fact! I still am slapping my forehead for having gone so long between readings. It is dripping with wisdom. It is oozing with insight. And no, for any Max Lucado fans like me, Max didn't write this book either. This book is an old one. Really old. It is the book of Proverbs. I am ashamed to say, I haven't read this book in years. Now, I have read a verse or two in Bible study and such. But I have not sat down and read it--in years. It is a book that is overflowing with what so many of us seek as Christians today--WISDOM. It is an amazing book for daily living. If we could all read this book, refer back to it regularly, and do our very best to live out its insights, we'd all be so much better off!

So my recommended reading is the incredibly helpful yet easily overlooked book in the Bible called Proverbs. It is nothing less than pure treasure for Christians today. It is so easily applied, not just for Christians but for all those struggling with daily life. It is clear, easy to read, and SO applicable.

I am so thankful today for the blessing of this book. I missed my dear friend. I am so glad we reconnected. Life is so much simpler walking hand in hand with this dear friend of mine! Thank you, Holy Spirit for leading me to flip the pages of my Bible last night and for landing on this old friend. WISDOM lives in its pages! The same life wisdom I so deeply desire was sitting there right in front of me all along. (Another forehead slap! OUCH!)

For all of those wisdom seekers like myself, take some time to read (or reread) this book. If you read, it, understand it, take it into your heart, and live its teachings, your life WILL change and markedly improve. Such wisdom!

Enjoy the pearls!

Prime Real Estate--YOUR MIND!

I believe that many of us would say that we trust God. The real question is: do we really? To what lengths?

When you are in the middle of a heart-wrenching, family-splitting divorce...do you trust in Him? When you've lost a loved one to illness, do you trust Him? When you lose your means of income, do you trust Him? When you are betrayed by someone dear, do you trust Him? When you long for love, do you trust Him? When you are overwhelmed at work? When you are at odds with a friend? When you want a child? When you want a spouse? In the big and small events of your life, do you trust Him?

Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words. We can all easily spout off about how much we trust Him, but our actions, our behaviors, our moments alone, our deepest thoughts can easily tell another story. I have said before that it helps me to think of God as a father. I am a mother and I know I'd do anything for my child that I think is in her best interest. No matter what that means and no matter if she likes it or even understands it. Those last two elements are not my priority; they are very, very secondary. Her happiness, safety, and well-being are my FIRST concern. God is that way with us. He ONLY wants our happiness and our well-being. Everything He sets forth for our lives is based on that. Why do we act as children and fight against Him? Why do we question His way? If we truly trust, as we say we do, our actions/thoughts both public and private should reflect that trust. My life, as well as yours I'd bet, doesn't always reflect my unfailing trust. I have said many times (mostly to inattentive ears) that actions say it all. Talk is cheap. Words are just words. Anyone can say they trust Him fully. I hear that statement all the time. I think we desperately want to, but don't know how to. Right? In all honesty, it's not that we don't WANT to, we just don't know HOW to.

I think the answer is a day-by-day thing. I believe that being in constant communication with God throughout our day is KEY. I don't believe that communication/prayer is restricted to bedtime, before meals, etc... I talk to God all day long. It is not in an organized format. It is not formal. It is like talking to a friend. Don't leave God at home when you get in the car and leave for work or wherever you go. Take Him with you. He should be your constant companion--in the car, in the conference room, at your desk, during your lunch break, on the drive home. So actually, it is a minute-to-minute thing.

If you understand that God is easily accessed throughout your day and communicates with you via the Holy Spirit, how can you feel alone? It's so much easier for the enemy to get a foothold in your mind if you've taken God out of there and left Him at home sitting on your nightstand next to your bed waiting for bedtime prayer. If your daily thoughts are with Him, on Him, and seeking union with Him in all the little and big things you do, it's hard for the enemy to sneak in. Does this make sense?

My most difficult times are when I am alone. When I have managed to distance my thoughts from my God, my family, my Christian friends, and when I start thinking about ME--that is when Satan tiptoes in. When my thoughts are not on God and/or on others is when I am most susceptible to the lies he whispers into my ears. We all need to be very acutely aware that the moment you begin to focus on YOU is the moment that Satan is most able to jump in and start the demolition. It's so OBVIOUS, isn't it? It's so expected. SO predictable...he does it to me and to you. When we focus on pleasing God and helping others, Satan cannot get a foothold. If we know this to be true...and we do--then it's seems that we know how to keep it from happening.

So actually, we DO know how to begin to trust Him and how to show it in our actions and in our thoughts. Trust is based on having a deep relationship with Him. You can't have a real relationship with Him if He's always left on your nightstand...waiting and waiting, hoping you're not too tired by the time you get back there. If He is your friend, your constant companion, how can you not trust Him in all aspects of your life? Seek Him out every minute of your day. Talk to Him. Let Him fill the space in your mind that the enemy so desperately wants--it is PRIME REAL ESTATE. When you're fixing breakfast, when you're shaving, when you're struggling to meet a deadline, when you're stuck in traffic...spend time with Him. Understand that communication with Him doesn't have to be in a formal, organized manner. He is a friend. Treat Him like one. An intense trust will develop. Then you can lean on Him and trust Him in all that your life holds, whether it is divorce, illness, bankruptcy, loneliness, infidelity, work overload, spats with family, burnt toast. He is there, keep your heart and mind full of Him--leaving NO room for your enemy to step in. Seems logical, simple, even obvious for goodness sake. IT IS. Trust is born out of true relationships. Develop yours with Him. It's awfully hard to trust someone you don't know intimately. Draw close to Him. Know Him. Allow Him to occupy and take over the space in your mind that the enemy covets. Live in the peace and in the contentment that only trusting in Him can provide.

Whispers of Uriah

Have you ever thought you weren't good enough? Ever thought your faith wasn't BIG enough? Ever thought that there was someone much better suited for the job than you? I find myself thinking this from time to time too. It mostly occurs in my Christian walk when I hear God call me to a task. Sometimes I have thought that I wasn't the right person for this or that because of my past. Certainly there are people MORE qualified who don't have pasts as colorful as mine. Surely, THEY are better suited to minister. Why, well because they DIDN'T fall into the sin that I did. They overcame the temptations and veered away from the traps that I stumbled into. THEY clearly are better at this than I am.

Well, if we all have to be perfect to be an instrument of God, then all is hopeless. There is not a perfect one here. I am certainly close to the top of that imperfect list. Fortunately for all of us, when God calls us, it is because we ARE the right person for the task at hand. Otherwise, He'd call someone else.

If our past failings and struggles were decisive in our ability to minister or be of use to God then what's up with King David? When I hear the voice of the enemy try to whisper doubt into my soul, I always remember King David. He was "God's Man". He did fall WAY short, however. But the good news is, HE RECOVERED and was used mightily by God. This King did unspeakable things. He had a monstrous past too. Probably much worse than yours. Look how God used him and blessed his life. Our pasts can be overcome. They can be used to propel us into service. I'd bet the name Uriah, moved King David forward in God service in ways we can't imagine. I'd bet the name Uriah never left David's mind. Do you have a name like that? Do you have one that moves you to be a better person, a stronger follower of Christ? I do. I have a few to be honest. OK, well, FOUR to be specific. There are four lives that will never be the same because of my wrong-doing, my selfishness, and my weakness. The enemy would like for those four names to paralyze me. To be honest, for a while they did. I carried so much regret and shame with me over them that I could barely move. I did that for quite a while. I bet there was a time that King David did too, but not for long.

It may not be other people that you damaged. Maybe it was yourself that you injured, maybe you still are. Do not let your past (or present) hold you back. Don't let the enemy use it against you. That's one of his most effective weapons against growing Christians. He will do everything he can to make you feel that you don't measure up. He wants you to be paralyzed by your own struggles whether they are past or present. He'll use anything that you let him to in order to strangle your potential and effectiveness as a follower of Christ and a light in the world. Use your struggles, failings, and your past as ammunition against him. Use them to fuel your fire against him. I'd bet anything that is something that King David had in his arsenal. Satan thought that the memory of Uriah and David's horrific behavior and actions would bring David to his knees in surrender. I see a very different thing in the life of David. He used it to bring himself to his knees alright--not knees bent in surrender to his past, but knees bent to God.

Give up your past, give God your struggles, and your weaknesses. Use them to launch forward in God's service. If you feel God calling you, never talk yourself out of it. Never let Satan talk you out of it. We all fail. We all struggle. We all fall WAY short. We are human. Me, you, your pastor, your most revered Christian friends and mentors are all human and all have many things we could let hold us back. Read about the life of King David. Reread it if it's been a while. Understand that he did unspeakable things in his life and God still chose to use him, love him, and bless him. Let David be a motivating biblical figure for you. He is for me--in so many ways! When Satan whispered the name of Uriah in David's ear, it moved him--forward. Satan whispers names in my ear too--quite often, hoping they will bring me to my knees. THEY DO--but in prayer and devotion which propel me forward in God's service. Be aware of the tricks and tools of your enemy...then use them against him! It's truly empowering! David's ears heard whispers of Uriah, what is being whispered in your ears? What are you doing with it?

Square Pegs

Seems that everyone is searching for love. Sometimes we do stupid things "in the name of love". Why do you think that this "love" is so elusive for so many? Why is it that sometimes we do such incredibly stupid things in an effort to capture it? Is the "idea" of love that we carry around in our heads a reality at all? Have we created something within our minds that doesn't truly exist?

I think that many people don't realize what it is exactly that stirs within themselves. There is something in their life that isn't filled--a gaping hole, a chasm. Many of us think that a person, the "right" person, can fill that chasm. There is a longing for companionship, friendship, passion, one-ness with someone else. Who has never felt that need? I don't know a single person that hasn't felt that ache. I have. It is universal. What causes it? Can it be tamed? Can we find the "right" person and "be filled"?

You want the truth, right? Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the answer is: NO. Your soul-mate doesn't exist. I know, I sound pessimistic, cruel, and maybe even jaded. I probably sound like someone that has been burned one too many times. Perhaps I come across as though I've just never found that person, the "right" man. If you know me well, that may seem to be an obvious conclusion. However, I would like to argue that point. I have a good case to support my view. Plus, despite how pessimistic it sounds, it couldn't be a more optimistic viewpoint!

Here's my position: No man or woman can ever fill that longing. It is impossible. That longing comes from the One who designed us in His image. We miss the mark when trying to find the right person. It isn't a person at all that we are longing for. We think it is. We argue the physicality of it all. However, the root is not a physical one at all. We long for pure love. Pure devotion. Love without bounds. Love without strings attached. Love without conditions. I GUARANTEE that you cannot find such a thing walking this earth. God designed you in His image. When we understand our God, then we can better understand our longing. Do you understand why God created "man" in the first place? If you don't, let me help you... He wanted a relationship--someone to love and someone to love Him in return. Someone with whom He could have a relationship. That's also why He gave us choice and free-will. Everyone wants to be desired by choice. He would have it no other way. That is why He gave us the choice to love Him and have a relationship with Him, or not. So---all of that being true, let's move on. If we are designed in His image (not meaning that we look like Him), then we too have something deep within us that spurs us into the same longing. We long to love and be loved in return. Who better can fill that void than your God? He made you specifically for that purpose. Why do we not understand this? Why put that kind of pressure on another human being? It's CRAZY to do so!

Since we are creatures made for relationship, it seems obvious that we'd also want relationships with fellow human beings. We should! We have deep relationships with family, friends, and even (for some) with others in a romantic setting. That is wonderful. I believe God intended it to be that way. Life should be full of deep and meaningful relationships. We are made that way. BUT, why do we put the "be all, end all" relationship pressure on anyone of this earth? No one can possibly fill that role successfully. It is not possible. That relationship can only be successful with God. Don't try to fit a person (a square peg) into God's (round peg) position. You will never be truly fulfilled. The person will fall WAY short. You will be unhappy and so will your partner. No one can survive that kind of pressure or expectation. That's because it is not their role to fill. But, we just keep trying to find that ONE person that fills that void. Until we look to God to fill it, we will continue to feel that emptiness, that longing, and that unending ache.

I have found in my life, that the minute, the instant that I stopped trying to find the right person to make me stop "aching", and I looked to God to fill that role, THAT'S the moment I became content. I am filled. I don't have a "significant other". I don't know if I will ever have someone in this life to fill that role...and for the first time in my life, I am totally OK with that. The reason for my contentment is that I have filled that gap. That role has been filled with GOD. The position is no longer open to applicants. Any relationships that I have in my life outside of that are GREAT, but they can't hold a candle to the one relationship that completely sustains me. How could I have ever thought another person could do that? The saying that "there is a God-shaped hole in all of us" couldn't be more true. We all need to stop trying to force a person into that hole. THEY WILL NOT FIT. It is God-shaped for a reason. He designed the hole. He knows He fits there. BUT--He will not fill it without being invited. God is a gentleman, He waits for the invitation.

Be aware of your longings. Know that the reason you exist is to have a relationship with God. He longs for you. Do not keep trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. You'll end up breaking something (if you haven't already) if you keep trying to force things to fit where they do not fit. If you feel empty, lonely, aching for someone, my advice is to fill it with God. Nothing else will fit. You are made in His image. He made you like Him. He desires you, and whether you realize it or not, your desire is for Him. He is the only one who can heal your ache. I know, I speak from experience. I no longer have that chasm in my heart. I have never been happier or more fulfilled. I no longer have that unending ache. Look to Him. You may think the ache is for a physical person, perhaps the enemy has warped your perception. I too thought the same thing. I ached to be held, touched, kissed, etc...all of those things. (I won't go too far with that, but I DO UNDERSTAND). Today I am fulfilled. I don't ache anymore. I don't want you to ache anymore either. Please (listen closely) know that God desires you as much as you are desiring someone else. Go for it. Let Him be your soul mate. It makes perfect sense. No one else can possibly fit your God-shaped hole. It is God-shaped for a reason. Seek Him out. Draw Him into your heart. You will find what you've been searching and longing for all this time. I PROMISE! It is HIS design.

Can You Cut It?

Forgiveness. Interesting concept. It's healing. Both for those giving it and those receiving it.

I don't know how many times or how many people I have talked with about this topic. I always encourage people to give up the anger, the hurt, to release it to God and start healing themselves through the blessing of forgiveness. Most people can mentally work through the need to forgive others both for biblical reasons and to start the healing for both themselves and the offender. Some people are able to work through all of that and enjoy the blessing of forgiveness--many cannot. Not surprising.

What is surprising, however, is that while those of us who have worked through such concepts and actions we still are unable to do something else just as crucial. Many of us cannot release ourselves of wrongdoing. We ask for forgiveness from those we've hurt. We ask God for forgiveness. However, we decide to carry our offenses around with us. Dragging them around with us like ropes around our necks with boulders attached to them. What in the world?!?!? We may not speak of them publicly. We may only visit them in the comfort (or discomfort) of our own minds. But we do it. We remind ourselves of just how miserably we have failed or how deeply we've hurt another. We remind ourselves often. We probably do so even more than we consciously realize. We've all failed. We've all fallen short. Some of us have done things so horrible we can't hardly bear to recall the details in our mind, but yet we refuse to remove the rope from around our necks. Why? Why would we do this if we have God's forgiveness? Why do we not release ourselves as easily as God does? I am also speaking to myself when I say this. I am one of the world's worst when it comes to these things. How arrogant do we have to be to basically say "Hey, I just cannot forgive myself for what I've done. It's too hard. What I did was too hurtful, caused too much pain and harm. I simply don't deserve to be forgiven,"? Why do we think our standard of forgiveness is higher than that of God's? Shouldn't be. In fact, that sounds a little insulting to God if you ask me.

I hold myself up to impossible standards sometimes. I cannot possibly live up to such lofty expectations. So when I fail, when I fall short, it is devastating. I am a self-punisher. I beat myself up better than any punishment and better than any possible consequence ever could. Why? If God is able to see my soulful sorrow and forgive me, why can't I? Christ's blood really WAS sufficient. Who am I to hold myself down? This isn't wise. This isn't healthy. This isn't what God wants for our lives. We do ourselves significant damage when we hold ourselves down and refuse to soar as God so deeply wants us to.

I am suggesting that we allow ourselves the opportunity to mourn and grieve when we fail and fall short. Some of us have things that in our pasts that we have a difficult time trying to move forward from. I do. But those things only keep us from our full potential as followers of Christ. How can I live my best life, be the best example, and bless others to the extent to which God designed if I am dragging my past behind me. I cannot. We cannot soar with our past tied to our necks. They are too heavy. Jesus' blood washed me cleaned and God expects me to soar! I would be wrong to deny both of those things by clinging to a past that I feel too guilty to let go of. I should feel guilty for NOT letting it go, right?

I feel certain there are things that each of us have done at some point in our lives, earlier today or years ago, that we haven't moved on from. Give God the respect of moving forward and soaring above your sin and shame. Learn from your past, learn from every mistake you make, then cut the ropes and soar. You can soar higher and higher as each rope is cut. You can help and bless others from your knowledge and lessons learned. Use forgiveness and your past experiences to help others, THAT'S how your old demons can be put to work in your Christian walk. Dragging your sins behind you does NOTHING but keep you down and hold your potential hostage. Cut the ropes! Soar!!!

Spiritual Tape-Measure

Value. We place value on everything. We don't always do so consciously. It is second-nature. We even place value on people, both on others and on ourselves. How do we measure the value of a person? What does your tape-measure look like?

Some people give more value to a person who grew up in the nicest area of town and assign much less value to someone who came from the less desirable part of town. Some put greater value on those who have prestigious careers and big bank accounts and very little value on someone who has a meager job and lives paycheck to paycheck. Yet, others put more value on the family background that some come from, whether it be from parents that were a doctor and a lawyer as opposed to someone who came from the grocery-store cashier and the construction worker... Also, some give more value to those who are highly educated as opposed to those who never finished high school. Maybe it is based on the way someone dresses or what they look like. It is amazing how many people only look to such measures to assign a human life's value. People who choose to use these kinds of things as the measuring device for human-value also tend to hold themselves to those same standards. It can be nearly impossible for people they encounter to "measure up" and it can also be quite difficult to "measure up" themselves.

When we hold other people and even ourselves to such standards, we are missing the true measure of value. If we use those things as our method of measure then we completely discount what God used to assign value to human-kind--the cross! Why bind ourselves so tightly to things of this earth? We are only here for such a short time. Why choose to live by this earth's standards? Our time here is SO brief! The pastor at my church said it so well recently; "We spend FAR MORE time on the other side of the grave, than this side!" Why do we not live with that in mind? Why do we choose to get so caught up in the measures of this world and risk our souls doing so? We are here for a mere instant. If you really stop and think about eternity, the time we spend on this earth is just a molecule of water within an ocean bigger than the whole universe. It is an instant. But so many of us are living, thinking, and measuring ourselves and everyone else based on the trappings of this earth. WHY?! God placed ETERNAL value on us when He sent Jesus to the cross. Why bind ourselves and others to such silly, shallow, and depth-less measures? Why be so empty and worldly?

How would you like to realize that you finally lived up to the greatest measures of this earth and yet missed real value? What if you didn't really live with spiritual values in mind? What if you worried yourself sick trying to have the best job, home, clothes, body, or personality? What if growing closer to God, drawing others to Christ, and being a servant to souls-in-need rarely crossed your mind? What if that were the case? What if you died and were shown the true time-line of your existence? What if it showed that your life on earth was a millimeter tick-mark on a tape measure 100 billion miles long! How would you feel? How would you feel if all of the rest of your time on the tape measure would be spent based on where your values were when you were alive on the Earth? Whoa! That should be a frightening thought for many of us! The reality is, our lives here are just a millimeter tick-mark on a measuring tape that never ever ends!!! Why put so much value on the "stuff" of that tiny tick-mark when eternity's values are SO different?!?! You could be sacrificing your eternity with God for our tiny moment of life on this earth. That sounds insane to me!

My point here is to keep your heart, soul, and mind on the things of God. Don't let the world and Satan draw you in. You can be IN the world but not OF the world. Don't waste your life trying to measure up to anyone else's standards---ONLY God's. Don't get lost in what anyone else thinks or says about you. Your value shot through the cosmic-roof when God valued you enough to send His Son to die for YOU. Your value lies in the cross, not in anything to be attained or achieved on this earth. We should be about our Father's business and not distracted by the details of worldly "things". We are here to draw closer to our Maker and bring others to Christ. We are here to have a relationship with the God of the Universe and to bring others into that relationship too, through Jesus Christ. Yes, we need shelter, clothing, and to have some FUN! I am not saying not to enjoy your life here or that worldly "things" are inherently wrong. Not at all! Have fun and enjoy life! But our treasure and our value must lie in things "eternal". See yourself and others through the eyes of your God--the earthly details will shatter on the ground in insignificance!

Think about it. We need to adjust our value-meter AND our understanding of how VERY brief our time here is in comparison to an eternity elsewhere! Our actions and values should shift immensely with true understanding of value and time.

Your Gift: I Wonder What's Inside?

Gifts. God gave them to you. Do you know that? Do you believe that? Are you using them? Do you know what He has gifted you with? Are you living a life worthy of your calling? You have been called by God. That's serious business. The God of the universe has bestowed a gift upon you (at least one--it's biblical--Ephesians 4:7). He has called you. Inspect your life for a moment. Take some quiet time and reflect. Be open. Be honest with yourself and with Him. All of us have God-given gifts, talents, and/or abilities. In our minds they may seem small, but in His mind they are HUGE! He gave them to you to USE in His service.

Many of us think that if we only KNEW what the gift was then we'd certainly be using it. That's very common. Not knowing for sure what your gift is can hold you back if you allow it to do so. Beware: the voice you hear is the enemy's. He wants you to keep spinning around, questioning, and wondering what your gift is. If you're always spinning about, uncertain, then you'll never USE your gift. That's what Satan wants! But how do you know what your gift is? GREAT question. Be careful. Be prayerful. Knowing what your gift is comes with great responsibility--a duty. That can be why some choose to remain in "spinning" mode. If you discover your gift you will no longer have an excuse for not using it right? That can be scary! I understand.

Let's assume you've taken this all very seriously. Let's go further and assume that you've decided you truly want to discover your gift, knowing that you will be called to USE it. How do you figure out what your gift is? That is not always easy. For some it is OBVIOUS! For others it can be quite elusive. My suggestions are as follows:

1. Be diligently prayerful. Talk with God about your desire to know AND use your gift. Ask Him to cause the Holy Spirit to reveal His will for you. Ask for insight and wisdom.

2. Shut up and listen. It will not whack you over the head. God will not walk into your room and give you a scroll with your gift written upon it.

3. Stop listening to the enemy--this one is HUGE. He is the one whispering the fear and self-doubt into your ear. He will use all that is in his power to blind you to your gift.

4. Get involved. Try different things. Broaden your scope of experience. Examine your interests and passions. Don't limit yourself. Are you particularly good at something? Delve into that. Try new things both in your "church" setting and outside in the "real world" as well.

5. Ask around. Ask your friends and family what they see in you. Ask what they view your strengths/gifts to be. They may have insight and see things that you may not be aware of at all. ASK, you may be surprised to hear what they see in you that you are unable to recognize.

6. Look for it. Watch for it. Listen for it. Assume nothing. Realize that your gift may not be as public as the next person's. Not all gifts are in public ministry. Many people make those kinds of assumptions. But ALL gifts, public or very behind-the-scene, are crucial to serving our God. Don't minimize or internally discount YOUR gift.

I had a friend who worked in IT at a company where I used to work. He and I had a discussion about this very topic. He didn't know what his gift was. He questioned if it was God who called him into the IT career path. I think we limit ourselves and our gifts by thinking that what we do is insignificant in the goal of serving God. This friend of mine did. However, I know better. I know that because of this friend of mine, I found a wonderful church, a great church family, hope, and encouragement. I would NOT be where I am today if it weren't for this wonderful friend. He used his daily interactions with people to serve God and His calling. If he weren't working in that job, sharing his faith along the way, and gently giving hope to others I would not be the person I am today.

We all need to realize that just because our profession may not be "ministry- related" that doesn't mean that we aren't doing what God has called us to do and using our gift(s). We also cannot assume that our career has to be where our gift is best used. You may be the one who gives hope to lost friends and coworkers--like my friend did. Maybe you are the guy that is always called upon to help out when someone needs a hand. Don't limit your gift. It may seem small in your eyes, but it is HUGE in God's eyes. That is why He gifted YOU with that particular gift. He knew YOU were the right one for the job. He made that gift to fit perfectly to YOU. It may be your ability to sing. It may be writing. It may be public-speaking. It may be serving the less-fortunate in your community. I know of someone who took his love of the outdoors, his passion for fishing, hiking, etc...to create a spiritual experience in those settings for both the young and old alike. It is a successful business that I pray blesses those who experience God through the outdoors. Again, don't limit your scope. God put your interests and passions inside of you for a reason. Whatever your career and interests may be, look for your gift(s) within them. USE them. Live your life and use your gift. Make this a priority. Don't listen to Satan. Use the gift that the God of the Universe gave to you. It wasn't by accident. It was a gift meant to be USED. Don't give up. Don't continue spinning. Don't let Satan distort your thinking. Be diligent. Seek it. Find it. LIVE YOUR CALLING.