Love-Pain

Consequences. Does that word evoke good feelings within you? Me either. Yet, they've been a life-line to me. Consequences when "learned from" bring correction to behavior that is harmful. I know the power and effectiveness of consequences in my life. They started from my parents when I was a child and today they are provided by life and are allowed by my God.

As much as my God loves me and protects me, He does not shield me from the consequences of my actions and choices. Why not??? He forgives and He loves me, but why let me get burned and endure painful things? Well, it is because He loves me. Real love isn't always keeping the other person "pain free". Many of life's most valuable lessons are only learned when pain is involved. At least that is my perspective.

There have been many consequences I have suffered in life. Many as a child and many as an adult. Some consequences never go away, they stay with you as a reminder. Those are tough...but WOW, are they effective!

I have a two and a half year old. She is at the age and stage where she is testing the waters, as every child does. She is learning. She is developing an understanding of what is acceptable and what is not. She is observing what gets rise out of people and what doesn't. She is learning how to interact with others every day in a more and more complex way. This is challenging for a parent. She is not one of those quiet, shy, reserved little ones. She is bursting at the seams with personality, excitement, and strong will. She is a blast and is a strong leader already. I LOVE that about her, but that is also very challenging for me. But because I love her I have to allow her to experience the consequences of her behaviors. How else will she truly learn? It isn't going to happen because I tell her if you do this, then this will happen. Talking about it, is good, but that ALONE, is futile. I know this. But talking about it coupled with quick and effective consequence creates IMPACT. She requires more "impact" than others. And while that impact is hard for me to administer as a mother, I do it anyway. Because I love her. I would rather be uncomfortable and have her learn how to behave and how to interact appropriately with those around her than to be comfortable and not discipline her and see/experience how disruptive her life becomes over the years--AND how unhappy that will make her and everyone around her. Sounds so logical and easy. Well, it is not. It is hard to be the bad guy. It is hard to lay down the law. It is hard to put a halt to bad behavior and create tears in the eyes of the little one that you so love. It is hard and painful. But it is required for her to learn and for her to grow and for her to be protected as she goes forward in life.

God feels the same way about us. He doesn't get a sick pleasure out of disciplining us or allowing us to experience the full impact of our consequences. It must be hard for Him too to see our tears and to witness our pain. But He loves us and like parents do, He does what is "hard" in order to help us grow and learn how to live in a way where we will endure less unnecessary pain and anguish as we learn. That is what we do for those we love. We allow the consequences in order to promote a better life, a fuller life, and more protected life. He is our father and He behaves as such.

Consequences, not the most cheerful word, but each consequence blesses us, and as we hopefully learn from them, we endure fewer and fewer of them. That's kind of the point really. It is the point when my little one experiences her consequences, the goal is by experiencing them NOW, she will have fewer of them down the road. That is what God wants for us too.

Thankfully, it is working that way in my life. Finally. I am thankful for it and I know God is glad too. He loves me and hates to see me hurting. So,we are both quite pleased with the results of my consequences. It's a beautiful thing!