Here I am, questioning things again. Why do I do this? What is it that periodically makes me wonder if I am effective in my communication? I write blogs pretty regularly. I write from my heart and soul. I write in order to reach out to people, to give encouragement, to share my experience, and most importantly to please my God.
I go through periods of time when I question if what I write is blessing anyone--or if I am just putting myself out there only to be taking up cyber-space. I truly feel that what I write has been put on my heart by someone higher than myself--my God working through the Holy Spirit. I truly believe that. But with a venue such as this, it's hard to know who, if anyone, is reading. It's even more difficult to know if what they've read made an impact of any kind. It's not that I look for kudos or recognition, because believe me, if these words have made any impact, it is only because God gave them to me. What I miss in this venue is the warmth my heart feels from knowing something God has given me to say has blessed or encouraged or inspired another soul. I can't explain it. Watching the face of someone who all of a sudden "gets it" or seeing God touch someone in a way that they never have been touched before is priceless. And I long to experience the joy in seeing or hearing about such things from my readers.
I want to experience those kinds of things more than I do. I pray that there are readers here that I am unaware of. I pray that this blog has somehow blessed them for having visited here. I pray that, (even though I may not get the [somewhat selfish] joy of knowing it or seeing it,) these words make a difference in someones life.
I suppose that the process here is for me to walk by faith. I need to trust that the words that flood my heart and soul and find their way to this blog, were put there for a higher purpose. That purpose is not for me. It is for the reader. My joy in knowing the results is not the goal, it is just sometimes a wonderful side-blessing for me. I need to get beyond the limitations of this venue and rest assured that there is purpose in my writing, that it is put within me for a reason. I must have faith in that.
I pray that I continue to wake up with new words, new ideas, new revelations that I can't help but put into writing. I pray that those words encourage, inspire, and bless whoever stumbles across this page. I pray a prayer of thanks for those who have been so kind as to encourage my writing and inspire me to continue writing each day. I pray for the humility to keep it up despite never quite knowing if it has impact or not. I pray that I will rely on God to continue to inspire me and to continue providing the joy in writing in this venue.
I would truly appreciate your prayers as well, to go on, to continue serving my God in this manner, with or without concrete knowledge of it's impact. Please pray for me to understand that my only needed feedback comes from the One who called me to write in the first place! I know this, but sometimes I temporarily forget.
Thanks so much for taking time out of your day to stop by whether this is your first visit or if you are a regular reader. I appreciate it more than I could ever say.
6 comments:
Carlotta, you are making a difference. Not only are you making a difference, you are making an eternal kingdom difference. As a fellow writer, I know what you are feeling. Just last week I was ready to throw in the towel because I didn't feel like my writing was as good as others and because I didn't feel like I was reaching anybody. Just when I was at that point, God reminded me in a very real way that it does matter. Somebody reached out to me about something I wrote that I considered inconsequential and how it touched them in a very real way. When you need the earthly encouragement, it comes. Other times, knowing that you are doing it for God and to make an eternal difference in the lives of those He has chose for you to touch will get you through.
Carlotta, know that EVERYTHING that you write blesses someone in some way. I enjoy and learn from everything you write on this blog, as well as what you post on Soul Sisters. You are a gifted writer, skilled at metaphors and word pictures that are easily understood by your audience, and you have the passion needed to change history and make a difference for God. I see it. Go with it. When you feel like you aren't getting anywhere, continue to walk (or write) by faith. Somebody is reading and somebody is being blessed. I promise.
Well, your blogs are VERY meaningful and helpful to me...but you already know that. I will certainly join you in praying that others (some whom you may never know) will be inspired by your writings as well. I DO believe that God will lead those who need to hear His words through you to your page.
If no one else is ever blessed by your writing other than me (and I know that others are), you should write just to bless me. There are times when nothing else picks me up and keeps me going like your writing. It propels me look inside. It forces me to think deeper, and about others, not just about myself. It motivates me to do the things I should do, that I might never do otherwise. So keep FAITH with Him, and keep blessing those He has given you now, because he who is FAITHFUL in little will be blessed with more. WAIT ON THE LORD, don't press, don't doubt, just love others, do your part as He gives you understanding, talent, compassion, and love.
Thank you guys so much for your kind words and encouragement. Don't know where I'd be at all if it weren't for you guys. I know every one questions from time to time. I am human in that manner too. I know that for me, writing is something that I can't help but do. It is a force within me that has to come out. I will continue to write by faith, knowing He has called me to and knowing I have such amazing people behind me in the process. Thanks again for your warm words of encouragement. I love you so much!
Carlotta - your words mean a lot to me too. I think it is wonderful and amazing to have stumbled upon your blog after Amy stumbled upon mine. But you know what? It's actually not "stumbling" is it? It's God. He connects us. Keep writing, OK? You never know who might need it - but God surely does. That's all that matters. :-)
when i come to read your blogs i know that my heart will be moved to a degree that forces me to look inward and i love that about your writing. i love that you share what's in your own heart so others can see that journey in their own lives. *HUGS* you are beautiful and your writing is a HUGE blessing in my life.
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