My Sacrifice...

What is it like when God (the Holy Spirit) "speaks" to us? I hear people say things like this a lot...even me. "God put this or that on my heart." "God told me this or that." What does that even mean? How do we know when God is speaking to us? I know people who determine that God told them something...and I wonder, "Did He call you on the phone? Did He send you an email? Did He speak to you from the heavens and only you could hear it?" How does that work?

I don't always know from where things "on my heart" originate. From my own desires? From God through the Holy Spirit? From others? And yet, sometimes I just KNOW. Don't you just love that response? But it is just how it is sometimes, at least for me. Especially when it is not something I wanted or was in my nature. In fact, that happened to a friend of mine a long time ago. She felt that God told her (gave her a vision) of someone with whom He wanted her to date. (I know a whole lot of people who come up with this notion too...) But in this case, it was someone that she had ZERO romantic interest in at all. In fact, I had the distinct impression that she was almost nauseated at the thought of it. But she felt very strongly about the vision. She felt it was God speaking to her. So she obeyed. She trusted and moved in faith. I happened to be completely floored by her decision to obey and boldly go where she did NOT at all want to go. Then, as it all happened, I wondered to myself, could God simply be testing her??? Could He just want to know if she fully trusted Him and would obey Him even if she felt it go against everything inside of her...to the point of nauseousness!?!?! It could be. Remember Abraham and Isaac? God told Abraham to KILL his own son. To sacrifice him. And Abraham obeyed even though it nearly killed him inside. Both stories ended well. Abraham was stopped, thankfully. My friend was stopped too, thankfully. And both were greatly blessed because of their faith and willingness to obey even when horrified at the task.

I am at a point in my life where I believe that I too find myself in such a place of testing. I feel as though God has conveyed to me something that I am a bit freaked out by. (No, He hasn't asked me to sacrifice anyone or to date someone I find nauseating, so you can all take a deep cleansing breath.) But what it is, would prove to be a true test of my faith and obedience. I want to walk in faith and be obedient to Him. I will do this, perhaps shaking and nervous, but I will follow His leading.

And just to nip it in the bud right now, please don't ask me what it is... it is between He and I.

But I would like to ask you to pray for me. Pray that I honor Him in obedience, so that He will be glorified. That's the point really. That's the goal in all we do, right? On a selfish level, I don't like this AT ALL; I am not going to lie or pretend that I do. But I know He loves me and I trust in Him that He knows better than I do. I want to honor my commitments; to Him, to trusting His promises, to doing the right thing, to keeping my word, to showing my trust, faith and obedience. Pray for me to be humbled, to be obedient, to be honorable, and to be fully faithful to Him and to my commitments.

Thanks!